Where’s the compassion, Mitt?

November 3, 2012

There are many issues I care about in the upcoming election.  I care about the economy, health, women’s rights, foreign policy, and so many other topics, but I will try to contain my opinions and focus on healthcare here.

Last night I was watching an interesting show that did a small biography of Barak Obama and of Mitt Romney.  It covered their childhoods, educations, marriages, entrances into politics, etc.  I was half watching while I played backgammon on my phone (so addicting!) and then something caught my complete attention: there was a clip of Ann Romney, Mitt’s wife, talking about how scared she was when she first got “sick.”  She talked about being so fatigued that she couldn’t get out of bed.  One of her sons talked about how difficult it was.  She was then diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.  Around this time, Mitt was thinking about heading out to Salt Lake City to take over the Olympics.  Apparently he offered not to do it, so they could stay home in Massachusetts near her doctors, but she insisted that he do it.

I was furious.  This man has vowed not only to repeal the Affordable Care Act if he is elected, but to make it his top priority.  I understand that he wants government to be smaller (though really, if everything is handed off to the states, then what’s the point of keeping the states united?) but has he thought at all about the individuals who are affected?

I want to talk to Mitt Romney and get him to really consider how different his life could have been.  What would have happened if they didn’t come from wealth?  What if they didn’t have many many millions in the bank?  What if Mitt had to quit his job to stay home and take care of his ill wife when she couldn’t get out of bed?  What if that meant they had no income?  What if they had no health insurance?  How would she have been diagnosed?  What if they had no savings, and had to rack up medical bills to pay for her testing?  What if they couldn’t afford treatments?  Instead of deciding whether or not to organize the Olympics, Mitt could have had to quit his job and drain their savings to take care of Ann, with no money to pay for treatments, no idea when he might be able to return to work, and certainly no therapeutic horseback riding for her.  That’s what could have, and likely would have, happened to Mitt and Ann if they had not had millions.  So what does he expect everyone else, everyone without a fortune in the bank, to do?  As far as I can tell, he hasn’t given it any thought.  I wish he’d prove me wrong.

So far, his answer is simple: it’s not his problem.  Sick people should get help from their states, but the federal government won’t force the states to help, so people might just be shit out of luck.

I am incredibly lucky.  I am lucky because I live in a state where I am eligible for medicaid.  I happen to live in the state where Mitt Romney implemented a requirement that everyone have health insurance.  I live in a state where I can get at least a part of the help that I need.  Too bad Mitt Romney doesn’t realize that people outside of Massachusetts need the same services just as much, and that this unequal system is not in any way good for the country.  If only he could understand how the rest of the country lives.

9 Comments | Educating, Frustration, Healthcare, Politics, Rants | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

Good news: I was denied SSDI

November 1, 2012

You’re probably wondering about that title.  Shouldn’t I be upset that I was denied SSDI?  I should be, but I’m not.

I’ll admit, I teeny tiny part of me was hoping that I’d be approved for SSDI on the first application, and that teeny tiny part of me is a little bit disappointed.  It would have made things immeasurably easier, no doubt about it.  But I also know that a ton of people get denied the first time around.  I read the denial rate was 80%.  I don’t know if that’s accurate, but more than 80% of the people I know have been denied the first time they applied, so I was assuming I would be too.  What I didn’t expect at all was that it would happen so quickly!  I applied for SSDI less than 2 months ago.  At the time, the web confirmation told me to expect a response within 4 months, but I assumed that was wrong.  I figured I wouldn’t hear anything for at least 6 months, maybe even a year.  And I heard today!

So I’m saying this is good news, because now I get to appeal the decision this month, instead of having to wait until next spring.  As soon as I speak with my lawyer I can start the next stage of this annoying, irritating, frustrating, exasperating process.  The sooner I get approved, the easier my life will be.  I am fortunate to be in a position where I can manage not having any income in the short term, but I’m not exactly wealthy, and not having an income in the long term could be a real problem.  I don’t want to cringe tomorrow when I buy the large 24-pack of toilet paper, but I know I will.  I don’t want to wear pants that are 2 sizes too big because I can’t justify even thrift store spending, but I do.  I don’t want to depend on others to support me, but without SSDI I will have to.  SSDI may not pay much (actually, it would be $3 more than my current rent each month!) but it’s still far better than nothing!

So starting tomorrow (or whenever my lawyer gets back to me) I can be proactive and work on appealing this damn thing!  I’ll let you know what happens….

4 Comments | Expectations, Healthcare, Politics, Rants, Raves, Unpredictable | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

Looking for the government-provided cheese

October 22, 2012

As I type this sentence I have been on hold for 1 hour 55 minutes.  No, that’s not an exaggeration or some sort of typing mistake.  I have actually been on hold for almost two hours.

I have spent a lot of time on the phone for health stuff over the last few months.  There have been a few minutes at a time with doctors.  There have been a few 20-30 minute calls with my lawyer.  Then there have been long wait times of 10, 20, 60+ minutes to deal with social security, medicaid, and long term disability insurance.  Getting help seems to involve hours and hours on the phone.

In hindsight, I sort of wish I’d kept track of the wait times.  I think it would be interesting to see.  When I tell healthy friends about what I go through, they’re shocked – and I have it easy!  I’m lucky enough to have the patience and skills to deal with this bullshit!  What about the people who don’t have that?

Although, my patience is wearing very, very thin…..

There’s this idea that there’s a ton of free government money just out there for the taking, and lots of immoral people are taking advantage of it.  I’ve heard that more times than I can count.  The reality is that there’s very little government support and even when you’re completely deserving and completely qualified, it’s almost impossible to get the support.

It’s a beautiful autumn day here in New England.  The sky is blue, the trees are yellow & orange & red, the sun is shining, and I’m still in my living room.  A friend and I were going to meet at her office for lunch and eat outside.  We cancelled that picnic because I was still on hold and didn’t want to hang up and miss out on my chance to get legal help to appeal my denial of state medicaid services.  Maybe I can take a short walk after I eventually get off the phone?  But there are more phone calls to make, more help to seek.

I’m thinking of a mouse in a maze looking for cheese, but I think that to make the comparison more accurate, we’d have to add a playful cat to the maze.  That sounds about right.  Because the government and private insurance companies are doing everything they can to avoid giving people the aid that they provide.  I’m just going to keep trying to dodge that cat.

And speaking of cheese, I haven’t even had lunch yet because of the long hold time!  Time to forage for food…..

4 Comments | Frustration, Healthcare, Limitations, Politics, Rants | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

How sick is sick enough for you?

October 7, 2012

When I was a kid and my symptoms first started, a lot of people said that it was all in my head.  Doctors, nurses, teachers, friends, and family all expressed doubts at one point or another.  My mother was the only one who never doubted me.  I heard it so much that even I started to wonder myself.

After 11 years of symptoms, it was a relief to finally have a blood test as proof.  “Look world, it’s not in my head, it’s a real thing!”

Now I’m fighting the same fight again.  Only this time, instead of saying the pain isn’t real, people are saying it isn’t bad enough.  I keep wondering, how sick is sick enough?  What’s the limit?  What’s the definition?  My boss clearly didn’t think I was too sick to work.  Or maybe that was just wishful thinking on her part.  The long term disability insurance folks have said that they don’t think I’m too sick to work.  I’ve been spending months preparing the materials, bit by bit, to prove otherwise.  Now, I just found out that the MassHealth folks (our state medicaid system) also don’t think I’m too sick to work.  Now I have to figure out how to prove otherwise to them, too.  Of course, I’m expecting to get denied by the SSDI folks, since almost everyone is denied on their first try.  I just applied, but I’m pretty sure I’ll have to work on an appeal.  I got dumped by a doctor who’s tired of dealing with my expensive tests and extensive paperwork, and who was unwilling to state for the record that I’m too sick to work (even though he said it off the record many times.)  He told me to have another doctor do it.

Being this sick is the worst thing in my life.  Being unable to work is demoralizing and scary.  So what’s happening?  Instead of focusing on the positive parts of my life and trying to work through this crap, I’m forced to focus on the worst parts of this crap and explain and define it over and over again for all of the doubters.  I’m forced to examine and then reexamine the most negative parts of my life and lay them bare for strangers to judge me.  And they certainly do judge me.

I’m not the first person to go through this and I won’t be the last.  But at this moment, I may be the most irritated.  I just want to yell at all of those idiots, “If you don’t think I’m sick enough, then just how sick do you think I need to be?  How sick is sick enough?  How sick would you have to be to not be able to do your job?  How sick would your kid/parent/sibling/best friend need to be to not be able to work?”  Not that I think it would do any good.  I’m just tired of being judged.

6 Comments | Expectations, Frustration, Healthcare, Insensitive, Limitations, Rants, Symptoms | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

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