I am dreading tomorrow’s job interview.
It’s not the interview itself that’s the problem. I love the organization and I’ve wanted to work there for years. The thing is, it’s probably going to force me to make some guesses that I don’t want to make. At the very least, it will force me to lie.
I’ve been on a medical leave of absence from my current job for almost three months now. When I left, I told them I would be gone three months. I really believed I wouldn’t need longer, but I was clearly wrong. I figure I need another month or two at least. Scarily, it may be more.
I didn’t actively look for jobs while I was on leave. To be honest, I don’t like my job, but I just didn’t have the energy to look for something else. Then a friend emailed me that his company was looking to hire, and it’s a position that I’m qualified for. I had told him many times to let me know if anything ever came up because I would love to work there, so I couldn’t pass this up. It’s a part-time job, which on the downside means less money, but then again, it would be better for my health.
So what’s the problem? If they want someone to start right away, I can’t. Even for part-time work, I’m just not ready for it. Too many days I feel lousy. Just going to the job interview will be all the activity I can handle tomorrow. And when they ask about my current job, which they will, I’ll have to talk in the present tense, as if I’ve actually been doing the work recently. I will have to lie by omission and not tell them I’m on leave. When they ask why I want part-time work, I will have to say that I’ve been wanting a better work-life balance. This is true, but it sure does avoid the most obvious reason. And if they actually do offer me the job at some point, which is possible, what would I say? Would I be ready to work? I just can’t imagine.
The timing of this is lousy. Up until 6 months ago, it would have been so easy to just go 110% for this job. Now, I’m not sure if it’s even worth going to the interview. Someplace in the back of my brain I know that it’s good to keep my options open, but really, I’d rather just hide under the bed for a while. I know there’s some positivity somewhere in me. I sure hope I can get it out in time for the interview.
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