Over a year ago, I decided to stop dating. It was just too difficult to makes dates for things I could do and then not have to cancel. I couldn’t go hiking or take a walk on a hot day, and even eating out was difficult because of my food allergies. So often I didn’t feel well enough, so I canceled. It was just too hard, so I decided to stop for a while.
A few weeks ago I felt like I really wanted to date again. I want to be in a relationship, and that’s really unlikely to happen if I’m not dating. This time around I knew I had to disclose my health problems at the start, and if the person couldn’t handle it, better that I know that right away. That doesn’t make dating easy, but it makes it easier. I figured I’d give it a try the next time there was an opportunity. And this week there was an opportunity.
A long time ago I had exchanged emails with someone I met on a personal finance web site. This week he contacted me and asked if I wanted to go out. I took a breath and said yes. I told him I wouldn’t know if I was free today until the day before, and he was ok with setting things up then. Since I felt ok yesterday, I made a date for today, and planned something simple. It was tiring, but I did it. During the date, I mentioned my health stuff. I didn’t get into the details, of course, but I said that I couldn’t work because of my health and I mentioned my biggest symptoms. And he seemed ok with it.
I left the date feeling really good about my disclosure. Maybe he was ok with it, maybe he wasn’t, but he didn’t run away screaming. That had to be a good sign, right?
Then a little while later I got a text from him; he wants to see me again!
There won’t be another date because I’m not interested in dating him. But how wonderful that the first time I disclosed my health issues on a first date, he still wanted to see me again! Yay! I know it probably won’t always go that well, but it’s good to know that it can. Maybe I really will meet someone right for me one day. The only way I’ll know is by letting them see who I really am. Today was a good start in that direction.