Some chronic illness benefits of sex

March 19, 2012

Please excuse my absence.  First I was busy feeling sick, then I was busy having sex.  Guess which was better?

Sex is a very controversial topic in some parts of our culture.  At the moment, some politicians are saying that women should only have sex for purposes of procreation.  They say that women who use birth control are sluts and that women who have abortions are murderers.  Since I plan to never have children, I suppose that means that according to them I should not have sex until after menopause.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about, pick up just about any American newspaper.  The stories are hard to miss.

Luckily I don’t believe in any of that.  I’m a fan of sex, and I use birth control.  If that bothers you, you should stop reading now.

I have heard, read, and been told that sex can help many of my symptoms.*  More than that, I’ve experienced it.  A few years back I
was seeing someone, and I would sometimes call him up, tell him I felt lousy, and say I wanted to come over for sex.  It was fantastic.  And it worked.  Sex is a great form of exercise.  Muscles are used in ways that we might not normally use them.  It’s a great cardio workout.  It’s a stress reliever.  It can lead to better sleep.  And who doesn’t love a rush of endorphins?*

Now, this doesn’t work for everyone.  And of course there are limitations.  We must be careful of STDs and pregnancy (or just STDs, if you’re having same sex sex, one partner is a woman past menopause, you’re having oral sex, you’re having anal sex, at least one partner is infertile, etc.)  It’s always important to be with someone you trust, but I think that’s the case even more so when health issues are involved.  If pain is a problem, then it’s important to not exacerbate the pain.  And of course it’s crucial to listen to our bodies and to stop or make adjustments if necessary so that we don’t injure ourselves or cause other problems.

Sex is a rarity for me these days.  I do not enter into sexual relationships casually, and so I sometimes go for many months without sex.  In fact, it had been so long that I had forgotten just how helpful sex can be for me.  Of course there are the obvious reasons why I enjoy sex.  It’s just that there are also additional benefits.  For me, the timing was especially fortuitous since I was having a bad flare last week.  In fact, I didn’t think I would feel well enough to have sex.  Thankfully, I just barely felt up to it, and my partner understands my health conditions well and was willing to stop at any point, do most of the work, and be careful of my painful joints.  Having a partner like that makes all the difference.

Now I’m well rested (I slept great after each time!), less depressed, and in less pain.  I can feel that I got a great workout.  And as an additional benefit, I feel great about my body.  (Personally, I always feel especially sexy after sex.)

I’m not about to go off my meds or give up my new diet, but it’s great to know that I have the option of a fun additional treatment: SEX!

*I am not a doctor or a medical professional.  I am writing about my own experiences and about those of people I know or have read about.  If you think that this may help you, please seek advice from a medical professional.

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If you can relate to this, please pass it along!  Thanks!

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Posted by chronicrants

Fearing disbelief

March 5, 2012

When I was in 7th grade, one day I suddenly had a lot of pain in my wrist.  My parents brought me to a doctor, who told me to wear a splint for 6 weeks and it would be all better.  Boy was he wrong!  This was to be the first of many symptoms.

Fast-forward to the tender age of 17.  I had seen many doctors – internists, orthopedists, surgeons (yet for some reason, no one suggested neurologists or rheumatologists) – and they didn’t know how to treat me.  They suggested I see a different kind of doctor: a psychologist.

I have nothing against psychologists.  In fact, I have a big problem with the social stigma surrounding mental health in the United States.  But in this case, it was upsetting that the doctors all thought this was in my head.  Then some family and friends started to think so too, and that was even worse!  Some thought that I was making up the pain in order to get attention.  Others thought that my subconscious was making up the pain.  It got to the point that even I started to wonder!  My mother was the one person who never believed their hype – she always knew that the pain was real.  I am so thankful for her.  I can’t imagine what would have happened to me if she hadn’t been in my corner.

My disability benefits were due to run out last week, and try as I might, I can’t get the overworked case manager to call me and tell me if I’m approved for a few more weeks.  I was worrying about this today when I suddenly realized why I’m so nervous: I’ve had years of people not believing me, and what if the insurance company stops believing too?  Those doubters when I was 17 were only some of the doubters I’ve faced.  There have been so many.  I still face the problem now, but I have a better handle on dealing with it.  With an insurance company, though, it can be very hard to argue. There’s no real person to convince, just an entity.

Now that I’ve recognized the fear I feel, the lasting affect of those years of being doubted, I hope that I can overcome it.  I hope that I can feel confident that people will believe me (or at least that I’ll convince them easily enough.)  It will take a lot of work; afterall, I’ve been facing the disbelief for many, many years.  Still, now that I recognize it, it’s time to get over it.

I refuse to waste any more energy on worrying about what other people think.

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Leave a Comment » | Decisions, Educating, Expectations, Frustration, Healthcare, Insensitive, Isolation, Milestones, Pain, Rants, Support, Symptoms | Permalink
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At a loss for words: Where’s our CI vocabulary?

March 4, 2012

I’ve heard the rumor that the Eskimos have over 100 words for snow.  That’s a myth.  There is more than one Eskimo language, and there are a lot of words for snow, but not an usually large number.  For example, in English we have snow, sleet, ice, hail, flurries, slush, blizzard, etc.

If we have so many words for snow-type substances, why isn’t there a word to describe the weird feeling I get in my stomach that isn’t quite nausea and isn’t quite queasiness?

Where’s our CI vocabulary?

Where’s the words to explain this feeling that’s tired, and exhausted, but more than that, but not exactly fatigued, and sort of sleepy, but not quite?

Where’s our CI vocabulary?

We have so many words to describe “pain” such as ache, sharp, dull, and acute, but where the one to explain the constant not-quite-sharp-but-not-really-dull pain that ranges from a 2 to an 8 on my pain scale on any given day?

Where’s our CI vocabulary?

When I have trouble walking and I sort of trip, and it’s not from pain, how best to explain it?  It’s like my depth perception is off, but I can see just fine.  It’s like my foot isn’t listening to my brain, except that it is.  It’s somehow a weird combination, like my brain doesn’t tell my foot to lift off from the ground far enough.  Where’s the word for that?

Where’s our CI vocabulary?

Symptoms have been around for years.  Personally, I’ve had symptoms since before we had the words “smartphone,” “netbook,” or “blu-ray.”  If society can invent these words so quickly, why haven’t we come up with better descriptors for our physical symptoms?  I think it’s time that we did. Let’s start making up words.  With Facebook, Twitter, PInterest, and all the rest, we should be able to spread them around faster than I can slip in slush.  Let’s get started!

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1 Comment | Educating, Frustration, Isolation, Limitations, Pain, Rants, Symptoms | Permalink
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Are you better yet?

March 2, 2012

When I was a kid, my family would drive to visit family several times a year.  The car trip took forEVer… 4 whole hours!  There was a decent amount of “Are we there yet?” coming from us kids in the back seat.  The longer we were on the road, the more emphasis the “yet” received.  We wanted to be there already!

I know everyone means well when they ask how I’m feeling, and when I’ll be ready to go back to work, but what I’m hearing is “Are you better yet?”  I try to remind myself that they only want me to be healthy, but it’s weighing on me.  Do they really thing I’d be better and return to work without telling them?  Do my close family and friends think that I’d be doing great and not let them know?  Asking constantly is simply not helping.  It’s pressure.  Every time they ask, and I tell them I’m not doing better, I feel like I’m letting them down.  They are disappointed.  I understand why they’re disappointed, but my natural instinct is to want to make them less disappointed, and I can’t do that, so then I feel guilty.

This is INSANE!  I feel guilty because I have to tell people that my health isn’t improving?!?!?

Everyone is different.  Some people may want to be asked about their health constantly.  That works for them.  It does not work for me.  I am mentally crafting an email now that I can send to everyone asking them to back the hell off.  I just need to figure out how to say it a bit gentler….

 

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