The importance of self-care

November 21, 2011

There’s the stuff we do almost every day.  It’s almost habitual after a while.  There’s certain exercises and certain diets and monitoring movements and adjusting for pain.  And then there’s the out-of-the-ordinary stuff that messes up any semblance of a schedule we might have had.

Yesterday I wrote about feeling almost sick.  I did the right things to take care of myself: I got a little fresh air and exercise and spent the rest of the day resting.  I took something to help me sleep and managed to sleep almost 10 hours with only a few interruptions.  These days, that’s fantastic.  Still, I woke up today feeling horrible.  I’m not sick sick.  I don’t have a fever, my stomach is fine, I’m not coughing or sneezing.  My only real symptom is that I feel lousy.  I spent the morning watching tv.  Then I took a nap for 3 hours.  Then I watched more tv.  I was going to read, but I fell asleep before I even found where I’d left off on the page.  Doing dishes and typing on the computer are the most activity I’ve had today.

Now, this all sucks, no doubt.  I wish I felt better.  There are things I was going to do today.  Then again, I’m so glad I was able to do this.  I’m not working right now, so I didn’t have to worry about upsetting a boss or missing project deadlines.  I know that when I really need a day like this to rest I shouldn’t worry about those things.  I know that.  But I still worry about it, and sometimes I push myself to go to work when I shouldn’t.  Of course, that only makes the symptoms much worse.  So yeah, today really wasn’t all that bad.  I lost a day that I could have spent doing other things, but it’s worth it.  Hopefully I’ll feel better in time for Thanksgiving.  And if not, well, there’s only so much that any of us can do about our health, right?

There are some lessons I have learned very well from the illnesses.  Accepting my situation when it means a major disruption to my life is not one I have learned well, and it’s one I have to keep relearning over and over.  Today has been a good reminder; my health is what matters.  Jobs and friends and errands and everything else can and will wait.  It is more important that I take care of myself.  Now, I just have to be sure to remember that next time, too.

If any of this sounds familiar, if you can relate, please share it on Facebook and/or Twitter.  This blog is new, and it would be great to share it.

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Posted by chronicrants

The “almost” feeling

November 20, 2011

Do you ever get warning symptoms before you get sick?  What about before you get a flare?

For good or bad, having a chronic illness forces us to be much more aware of our bodies than a lot of us would otherwise be.  I’m pretty sure I would have ignored the way I felt first thing this morning, but after years of dealing with these illnesses, I’ve learned that a sore throat isn’t always just a sore throat.  For me, it’s a warning signal.  This is my body’s way of saying that something bad will happen soon.  If I don’t get some sleep in the next day, I’m going to get sick or get a flare or both.  Fun.

Now, on the bright side, getting sick would get me out of some unfortunate holiday obligations this week.  But it would also cause me to miss some fun holiday stuff too.  I guess I better pay the bribe and get some sleep.  If only it was that easy.  I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow, but for some reason I’ve been waking up about 7 hours later, for no good reason.  Still, I can’t risk it, so tonight I’m taking a Benedryl, turning off my cell phone, and getting some sleep.  I hope.  12 or 14 hours should do the trick, based on past experience.

Yep, I’ve got the sore throat and the weakness and some fatigue and I know what it means.  I know what this means now.  The thing is, 10 years ago, I didn’t know what it meant.  And I’m pretty sure that even now I’m missing signs from my body.  Maybe there’s something I could have done yesterday, or maybe there’s more I could do now.  I think that a key part of treatment should be learning how to read our bodies.  Does anyone even teach this?  Maybe a doctor once told me to start paying attention, but I don’t remember it.  Autoimmune diseases can be frustratingly unpredictable.  Even a 12 hour warning is helpful.  I just wish I knew better how to recognize it.  I wish we all did.

 

If any of this sounds familiar, if you can relate, please share it on Facebook and/or Twitter.  This blog is new, and it would be great to share it.

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Posted by chronicrants

Where’s the predictability?

November 14, 2011

Life is unpredictable.  I know that.  And to be honest, I tend to handle change fairly well.  Still, too much change at once is difficult.

Autoimmune diseases are tough to handle, but being able to predict certain things about the day can make a huge difference.  Knowing how active I’ll need to be, when and what I’ll eat, and when I’ll be able to rest all make it a whole lot easier.

While I’m not working, I’m making an effort to set plans in advance so that I have reasons to get out of the house and see people.  This is good for me.  I need and want to spend more time with family and friends.  But for some reason, three different people needed to reschedule our times this week, two others needed to set something up last-minute, and I heard from all of them today!  To them, this isn’t a big deal.  Move a lunch, change a date, switch things around…. easy, right?  But this is making me nervous.  It’s a lot to juggle.  I need to make sure I don’t do too many things on the same day, so I need to find a way to do everything and see everyone in a way that makes me happy and not too worn out.

I don’t know yet how I’ll work all of this out, but at least I know one thing for sure: my health comes first.  I’ll do my best to work out everything else, but I will make sure that I feel good at the end of the week.

 

If any of this sounds familiar, if you can relate, please share it on Facebook and/or Twitter.  This blog is new, and it would be great to share it.

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Posted by chronicrants

Being two people

November 13, 2011

Sometimes the dichotomy amazes me.

I spent the day yesterday indoors.  I read email, watched tv, and did a bunch of other things that at the moment I can’t remember.  I was very aware of the pain I was in.  I was generally unproductive.  I got no exercise (aside from some minor physical therapy.)  It was a gorgeous fall day.  I knew I should have gone outside, but I just didn’t want to.  I suppose I’ve been a bit depressed lately.

Then last night I went to a friend’s party.  I’d been looking forward to this for a long time.  I met some great people and had a lot of fun.  I forgot about the pain.  I wasn’t depressed.  I had a wonderful time and felt great and, aside from avoiding certain foods and being careful how I distributed my weight as I stood, I completely forgot that I had any health issues.  It’s was great.

It was like I was two different people yesterday.  I know that I need to make more of an effort to be that second person.  For starters, I will leave the house before noon every day.  I might just take a walk around the block, but I will get fresh air every morning by leaving my apartment.  I will make more plans with people so that I leave the house.  I will actually do the things on my to do list each day, instead of moving them to the next day (or week.)

That won’t fix everything, but it’s a start.

Leave a Comment » | Decisions, Expectations, Frustration, Isolation, Pain, Rants, Symptoms | Permalink
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