Where’d my life go?

January 1, 2012

When did my life become so boring?

I was catching up with an old friend tonight and realized I had nothing to say.  It’s not as if I can’t hold a conversation; I read, I’m opinionated, I have the gift of gab.  But talking about my own life, there was nothing to say!  House?  Same place.  Job?  Boring.  Health?  Not discussing it with anyone but close friends, family, and you many anonymous readers.  Dating?  Barely, and no one interesting.  Big activities?  None (I don’t feel up to it.)  So what’s new?  Nothing worth discussing.

I hate that my health is running my life.  It was always there, always present, always a part of my life, but it was just a part.  Now it feels like the main attraction.  I need to get some balance back.  Today I emailed a friend about going out together with some friends of hers.  There are many single guys.  Maybe that could be a start.  A few decent dates could provide a break in the monotony.  And maybe the new job will come through.  That would be amazing.  So I’m trying.  I’m really trying.  But in the meantime, I feel like the most boring person at the party.

2012 better be a hell of a lot better than 2011!

 

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Good riddance 2011

December 31, 2011

I was going to write a great post for today, but then I fell asleep and that threw everything off.  So much for fabulous the little blue pills.  I fell asleep yesterday afternoon too.  Bah.

I’m determined to go out tonight so this will be short.  This was not a good year.  Actually, this year really sucked.  My romantic life was more pitiful than usual, my job was boring and stressful, I’m no longer on speaking terms with my sister, and my health nosedived.  That adds up to a lousy year.  Yes, there were some good things, but overall, I will be happy to see this year go.

So goodbye 2011.  I will hardly miss ye.  And hello 2012!  Let’s hope it’s a kick-ass year!  I wish you all a fantastic 2012!


The need for access to affordable healthcare for all

December 27, 2011

The so-called “Obamacare” plan has a lot of faults to it.  The process was overly politicized by a group of people with the best and most affordable healthcare in the country, the majority of whom could afford private care if they needed to.  They weren’t exactly representing “us.”

But like it or not as a whole, there are definitely some good parts to the plan.

For me, a great part is that health insurance companies will no longer (starting in 2014, but there’s a stop-gap plan until then) be able to turn someone away for having a pre-existing condition.  They also will not be able to find a convenient reason to end coverage shortly after someone is diagnosed with an expensive condition.  I believe there’s also something in there to prevent insurance companies from charging exceedingly high premiums to those with pre-existing conditions.  This is HUGE!  If I were to move to CA right now and I had to get my own insurance, I couldn’t do it.  I’ve seen their insurance company policies.  I’d be out before they got through the first page of my application.  But after this, they’ll have to insure me.  It’s a fantastic start.

But there’s still a long way to go.  There isn’t enough in there about making healthcare affordable.  I was talking to a friend last night who has always been perfectly healthy.  In fact, in the 10 years I’ve known her, I’ve never seen her have more than a sniffle.  She lives in CA and pays $300 a month for her health insurance.  I have no idea how much her company pays, but she gets it though them.  $300 is ridiculous for an individual plan.  Recently she has been having numbness in her left arm.  She went to the doctor, who sent her to a physical therapist.  She went to physical therapy three times.  It didn’t help.  And she got a bill for $400 (in addition to the copays she had already paid) for those three PT visits.  When she told me this yesterday I was in shock.  I wish I was there in person to review her policy.  She could have a deductible or co-insurance, but for $300 a month, she really shouldn’t have either.  Now she still has the problem and, with copays has paid about $500.  She doesn’t want to go back to the doctor because of the cost!  What kind of system is this!

I have been surprised had how many people are against “Obamacare.”  I suppose these are people who don’t pay for health insurance now and who are healthy.  They figure they’ll never need it.  I just hope they read this article and really consider it.  It could happen to anyone.  I eat well and take care of myself and get plenty of sleep and try to avoid stress.  And I have health problems.  I take a lot of medications and see a lot of doctors.  That’s not my fault.  And it’s not someone’s fault when they get cancer or get hit by a car.  And what if it were their fault?  Does that mean they shouldn’t get health insurance?  Well, I suppose that’s a discussion for another day.  In the meantime, let’s get people to consider just how important it is to have access to good, affordable healthcare.

The new system isn’t great, but it’s a start.

 

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Dreading the worst-timing-possible interview

December 26, 2011

I am dreading tomorrow’s job interview.

It’s not the interview itself that’s the problem.  I love the organization and I’ve wanted to work there for years.  The thing is, it’s probably going to force me to make some guesses that I don’t want to make.  At the very least, it will force me to lie.

I’ve been on a medical leave of absence from my current job for almost three months now.  When I left, I told them I would be gone three months.  I really believed I wouldn’t need longer, but I was clearly wrong.  I figure I need another month or two at least.  Scarily, it may be more.

I didn’t actively look for jobs while I was on leave.  To be honest, I don’t like my job, but I just didn’t have the energy to look for something else.  Then a friend emailed me that his company was looking to hire, and it’s a position that I’m qualified for.  I had told him many times to let me know if anything ever came up because I would love to work there, so I couldn’t pass this up.  It’s a part-time job, which on the downside means less money, but then again, it would be better for my health.

So what’s the problem?  If they want someone to start right away, I can’t.  Even for part-time work, I’m just not ready for it.  Too many days I feel lousy.  Just going to the job interview will be all the activity I can handle tomorrow.  And when they ask about my current job, which they will, I’ll have to talk in the present tense, as if I’ve actually been doing the work recently.  I will have to lie by omission and not tell them I’m on leave.  When they ask why I want part-time work, I will have to say that I’ve been wanting a better work-life balance.  This is true, but it sure does avoid the most obvious reason.  And if they actually do offer me the job at some point, which is possible, what would I say?  Would I be ready to work?  I just can’t imagine.

The timing of this is lousy.  Up until 6 months ago, it would have been so easy to just go 110% for this job.  Now, I’m not sure if it’s even worth going to the interview.  Someplace in the back of my brain I know that it’s good to keep my options open, but really, I’d rather just hide under the bed for a while.  I know there’s some positivity somewhere in me.  I sure hope I can get it out in time for the interview.

 

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