Chronic Rants

I’ve played with the numbers from every angle, and I’m still not sure how this happened. This truth is that it almost didn’t.

Let’s face it, SSDI (Social Security Disability Insurance) doesn’t pay a whole lot, especially when you didn’t contribute for very long and you never earned a big salary. Especially when you live in an expensive city with high rents. SNAP (food stamps) almost covers my groceries each month. Almost. Fuel assistance helps with the utilities, but doesn’t cover them completely. Health insurance (after I pay the premiums) covers most of my costs, but I still spend a whole lot more. I am so grateful for all of these, but after I added them all up, I was still far short of what I needed.

After all, I still have to pay for those health costs and utilities, car expenses including insurance, household stuff like dish soap and toilet paper, and so much more. I spend very little on luxuries like gifts, clothes, or a meal out with friends, but there’s still the occasional purchase.

I’m super lucky. Last year my parents bought me a new laptop. Back while I was still working I bought a super warm coat and a low-end-but-nice sofa. I have savings from back when I worked. But those savings aren’t enough for the next several decades so I want to avoid touching them if I can.

I’ve been watching my bank balances. Down and up, up and down. I did some consulting work when I could. I sold random stuff I had around the house that I didn’t need or want anymore. I sold some of my knitting. I did a bit more consulting. Some months looked really good. Others looked terrible. I hated the uncertainty.

Back in the days when I worked, I had a steady paycheck. Those days are gone. I want to work now, but that income would still be unpredictable. And right now, it’s completely ad hoc. Still, when I looked at the numbers (yes, I’m a numbers geek) in December, I could tell I was close. Was it possible? Could I actually BREAK EVEN this year?

I was nervous when I went over my 2015 accounts the other day. I blinked. That couldn’t be right. I went over it all again. It was true. I came out ahead! Yipee!!

I’m very lucky. I know not everyone can do this. I know I couldn’t do it last year or the year before or the year before that. But it I did this year, and I’m grateful for that.

So how did this happen? Well, I had several consulting clients. I did some work that I didn’t particularly enjoy, but I did it for the money. This including knitting some things I didn’t enjoy knitting, helping someone set up a WordPress blog (I really hate doing the back-end work, but others do too, so they’ll pay for it,) and listing things on ebay, amazon, and craigslist (I hate dealing with that shit) that I’d have happily given away if I didn’t need the money. I did some other work that I did enjoy, like knitting awesome projects and consulting on things I enjoy. But it was all worth it.

Of course, that alone didn’t do it. This is where the luck comes in.

First, I had savings from back when I worked. I had invested those savings. And those investments earned interest and dividends. Now, this wasn’t a huge amount of money. And it’s not money I’ll spend yet – all that interest gets immediately reinvested. Still, it helped me get a lot closer to breaking even.

With all of the benefits, the work I did, and the investments, I was so close to breaking even. This is where more luck comes in. My parents gave me a large birthday check earlier in the year. Then they gave me a large Chanukah check last month. And those put me over the top. Thanks Mom and Dad!

And let’s be honest, being able to work at all feels pretty damn lucky right about now. Sure, I did a lot of research and put in a ton of effort to improve my health to this point. But we all know that sometimes all of that effort and research doesn’t help. I’m glad that this time it did.

So benefits + work + investment income + gifts = coming out ahead! Without any one of those, I wouldn’t have made it.

There are no guarantees in life. I have no idea if I’ll break even in 2016. I’m going to try to start a business and maybe it will work and maybe it won’t. What I do know is that I somehow made the money work out in 2015.

For that I’m grateful.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 11th, 2016 at 11:07 am and is filed under Expectations, Job, Limitations, Raves, Support, Unpredictable. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.