Sometimes things get messy… down there. It happens. And when you have diarrhea on a regular basis, including explosive diarrhea, maybe it happens a bit more than healthy folks might expect.
As recent readers know, the last few weeks have been especially difficult for me. Still, I’ve been pushing through. I was doing ok, but the last few days have been incredibly rough.
And so I wasn’t feeling great this morning as I read my Facebook feed and slowly ate my breakfast. The stress was getting to me. I’d barely the last 3 nights. I was pretty sure I was all cried out…. at least until the funeral tomorrow. Who knows what that would bring. And how would I make it through the day? The funeral, sitting shiva, the long drives…. would I make it? I tried not to worry about getting over to be with the family again today, figuring I could rest all morning and afternoon and head over much later. I wouldn’t even get dressed, just stay in my pajamas until 3pm. I tried not to think about it. I tried not to think about how my grandfather looked when I visited him on his deathbed less than 48 hours ago. I tried not to think about the hell that my mother and her siblings were going through. I tried to remember the good times. And there were so many good times. I am endlessly thankful for that.
I sat there feeling pretty good emotionally, all things considered. I was hanging in there physically. I was doing ok. I was going to make it. And then instead of feeling gas released by a fart, I felt poop. Yes, I was pooping my pants. This has happened a couple of times before, but with all of my recent improvements GI-wise, I thought it wouldn’t happen again. But it did.
I bolted from the chair and ran for the bathroom. I took just a couple steps and realized the room was fuzzy. One part of my brain knew the problem, and of its own accord my hand reached up, pulled off my reading glasses, and threw them down. I never broke stride. I made it to the bathroom. Most of it ended up in the toilet. It was just liquid. I felt weaker than before, but I managed to wash out my favorite underwear (how unfortunate!) and my favorite fleece pants (just as unfortunate!) but my ass still wasn’t entirely clean. Things had gotten messy, and thanks to my joint problems in my hands, wrists, and shoulders, it was hard to clean up. Worse than what I usually have trouble cleaning up. So I got in the shower.
I stood in that shower for a long, long time. I hadn’t wanted to shower so early, or maybe even at all today. Showering takes so much energy, and that wasn’t energy that I had to spare. But what were my options? So I stood in that shower and thought, not for the first time, about how much I wish I had a bidet. I used one once when I was in Europe and I liked it. I’m pretty sure if I had one now, I’d be using it often. There are so many days when it would help, but few as bad as today.
We don’t talk about this kind of thing often. But a few weeks ago I was talking to a friend who also has GI problems and we talked about those uncertain farts, and how we can never be sure if they’ll really be farts, or if we’ll end up pooping our pants. I was relieved to hear I wasn’t the only one dealing with that, but sad for her that she has the same problem. And why shouldn’t we discuss it? Yesterday, after hearing about my grandfather’s death, I stood in the shower and cried – sobbed, actually – for ages. I felt my nose start to bleed, but I only stopped crying when I felt myself choking on the blood. By the time I got out of the shower I’d forgotten about my bloody nose until I brushed my teeth. I looked in the mirror and saw the blood dripping down. And I feel like I can talk about that, so why not talk about gastrointestinal problems?
So I’m throwing it out there right now, so all of my fellow CI-ers can remember that if you have similar problems, or maybe something entirely different that you find embarrassing, you’re not alone. We all have our stories. We might not talk about them publicly, but we have them.
And if you’re looking for a safe space to share your own otherwise-embarrassing stories, just post them here in the comments. I won’t judge. (And you can use an anonymous name if you want.) Remember, you’re among friends. And at least a few of them have pooped their pants.
Chronic Rants 
My best/worst pooping my pants story was earlier this year. I was at my town’s caucus, running as a delegate to the state party convention. That involved giving a two-minute speech. Normally that would be no big deal for me, but I was in the middle of an ulcerative colitis flare. In the middle of my speech–whoops, that was not a fart. I managed to finish my speech without anyone noticing (I hope!), but then I couldn’t leave the room during voting without being disqualified. So I had to sit there for 40 minutes, through THREE run-off votes…and I still lost by one vote. Part of me wanted to play the “You should vote for me because I crapped in my pants without any of you knowing” card, but I decided not to.
It’s not just you, not by any stretch of the imagination.
Also, I’m so sorry for your loss, and I’m sending good thoughts to you and your family.
Oh no, that’s terrible! I’m glad you were able to make it through, but I’m sorry you didn’t win. If they’d only known what you went through for that vote!
And thanks for your well wishes.
I had a reaction to something (new magnesium supplement?) and lets just say I had diarrhea like you would get with food poisoning … did you ever hear of a sitz bath or a layette bottle? Not quite a bidet but you can get them both on Amazon. They saved my ass, literally!
I meant a lavette bottle … autocorrect changed it to “layette.” Ugh, autocorrect.
Thanks for the tips – I’m looking into both of those right now!
So sorry to hear your sad news. I lost all my grandparents at an early age, remember how blessed you are to have had him in your life all this time and cherish the good memories they help with the pain of the loss. Sending love and hugs to you and all your family and strength to manage what lies ahead.
My main issue is wee escaping. If my hips are inflamed it seems to affect my bladder. I get the urge to go and then my hip will spasm and I have wet my self. Have done this out in the shops, at work and at home. I always carry spare undies and wet wipes. Over the years my tummy has settled as I watch what I eat and take tablets to keep it happy. Omeprazole and peppermint capsules. So it is a long since I pooped my pants. Worst time was when I took my children to the woods and had to poo there and take my undies off and clean up.
Bidets are wonderful I have a wet room and shower chair so it is easy for me to clean up.
Take care xx
Thanks Lorna.
That’s really rough. I’m sorry to hear you’ve had to deal with it in public places like that, but it’s great that things are somewhat better now!
I feel so bad about hearing your story! I wanted to let you know about an item I have in my Amazon “Wish List” from awhile back that you should look into. It is “Luxe Bidet Neo 110 (Elite Series) and has a 5 star rating. As I understand it mounts below the toilet seat and from the reviews, people really love it. It is only $29.98 with Prime free shipping if you are a member. I am still considering it but it looks well built and would be an inexpensive way to manage this problem, which I too occasionally suffer from. Good luck and keep writing, I enjoy your posts.
That’s the bidet that we got! It is so worth it, does a great job for such a low price. Honestly, it’ll pay for itself in saved toilet paper.
Never mind my other comment, Julie, I just saw this 🙂 I’m glad it’s working for you!
Thanks for the tip, Debbie! That’s one of the things I love about this blog – we all share tips with each other. I’ve learned some great things through the people who participate in the comments!
I posted about this on my blog a while back. I found a great bidet on Amazon for just $30, it has been so worth it! My husband was initially a little off-put with the idea, but once he tried it he loves it, too and even suggested we get another for our second bathroom. I really wish bidets were as common in the US as they are in Europe. It’d be awesome if public restrooms had them. I hate IBS.
That’s great! Could you share the link?
http://countingmyspoons.com/2014/06/bidet-done-cleaning-up-ibs-mess/
[…] not to filter too much. The filter is limited to certain symptoms. There’s no need to mention pooping my pants at this stage of the relationship, for example. I’m trying to share everything else. But that […]