Some decisions are easy. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate. Always chocolate. But some are hard. Keep the dog, or give the dog up?
I wrote about this the other day. And in the end, I didn’t keep her.
Several of you wrote in and you helped me to decide – thank you so much for that!!
At first, I was concerned about the physical requirements to care for a dog. But after a week that become easier and I knew it was a stretch, but doable. The problem was, I didn’t want to do it enough. I didn’t want her enough. I realized that if she was the right dog, I’d be happy to do that work. But she wasn’t the right dog.
She’s lovely. But she’s not emotional support dog material. Several of you commented about how great it was to have your dog snuggle with you when you didn’t feel well. She wasn’t going to be that dog. I kept telling myself it would take time, but I finally had to admit that wasn’t it. She loved to be pet, but she would sit 6 inches or more from me and want petting. She would sometimes stand with her front paws on me for petting. She never sat in my lap. She only sat against me a few times. A few times in 10 days. One day I was upset and crying (because of her, ironically) and she didn’t respond. These were full on sobs while I talked to my mom on the phone. She didn’t come over to me. She didn’t shy away. She just sat where she was, not even looking at me. She was indifferent. That’s not what I want from a dog.
I never made a connection with her. I tried but couldn’t. And that’s rare with me. I make a connection with most dogs I meet. So she just wasn’t the dog for me.
I’ll still get a dog. I don’t know when, but I will. Right now I’m going to take some time to grieve this loss and to figure out how I might do things differently the next time around. But one day, I will definitely have a dog.