The finding a new doctor blues

November 8, 2011

I hate first appointments with new doctors.  Seriously, I can’t stand them.  I always feel horrible afterwards.

Yes, I know that for some people this sounds really strange, but hear me out.  This actually makes some sense (at least, it makes sense in my head.)

First, there’s the uncertainty.  Will this doctor be any good?  Will they help me?  Will they hurt things?  If it’s a primary care physician (PCP) like today, will they give me the referrals that I need/want?  Will they order the right tests?  Will they prescribe the right medications?  Will a PCP give me the letters that I need for my FSA?  What if it doesn’t work out and I have to start all over again someplace else?  Will my insurance allow that?

But to be honest, those don’t matter as much as the other thing.  I know they’re important, but it’s the other thing that makes starting with a new doc so hard.  Those are just uncertainties, and those questions will all be answered soon enough.  The other thing, though, that’s emotionally rough, and it makes the appointment itself difficult to get through.

Every time I meet with a new doctor, I have to give them the list.  It’s bad enough to have a bunch of illnesses, but having to list them out, one after another, is wrenching.  I feel ridiculous; even to my own ears it seems like I must be making this stuff up.  And even when the doc is nice and professional and accepts the information appropriately, I still have to review it all.  Going over everything, all at once, is just too much.  Those 20 minutes are draining, and by the time I leave, I have trouble getting out of my own head.  It’s too easy to just keep thinking about all of the illnesses.  Connective tissue disease?  Let’s go over details.  IBS too?  Describe the diet.  Hypothyroid?  Review the treatment.  PCOS also?  Give the family history.  High cholesterol and seasonal affective disorder and two forms of scoliosis?  Detail onsets.  The list just keeps going and going and going.  It’s worse than the Energizer bunny from those old commercials.

I left my first appointment with the new PCP today feeling lousy.  I was sad and discouraged and tired.  At first I didn’t know why, but it hit me fast: I spend a lot of time and energy trying not to think about my myriad health problems, and here I was just forced to confront them all simultaneously.  What a cruel form of torture.  I sure hope I don’t have to go through that again any time soon!

If any of this sounds familiar, if you can relate, please share it on Facebook and/or tweet it on Twitter so others know it’s not just them, that they’re not alone.

Leave a Comment » | Educating, Expectations, Frustration, Isolation, Medication, Rants, Symptoms | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

Focusing on 3 good things

November 7, 2011

I’m having an off day.  I guess we all have those sometimes.  Ok, I’ve had a bunch of them lately, but who’s counting?

So in an effort to get myself back on track, I’ve decided to focus on the positive.  I’m keeping it simple with just 3 things that went well today.  There are many more I could write out, but for now I’m just focusing on these 3.

  1. Alert, productive, sunny morning.  I seem to get sleep and foggy-brained in the afternoons, but my mornings have been ok.  I’m trying to take advantage of that, and this morning I was actually productive and got some things done.  And the sun always helps.  It was great to see that bright blue sky.
  2. Kittens!  I visited with a friend and played with her little kittens while I was there.  I’ve never been a cat person.  Some are ok, 
    and a few I even like, but I definitely prefer dogs.  There’s something about this orange one, though… I’m totally in love.  Playing with adorable kittens definitely perked up my day.
  3. Laundry.  Yep, I’m considering laundry a positive thing.  I have clean clothes, I  won’t have to worry when I open my underwear drawer tomorrow, and best of all, I was able to do it without completely wearing myself out.  That’s cause for celebration if there ever was one.  Plus, after a week of putting it off, I can finally cross this off my to do list.

 

Like I said, there were other good things, like good conversations with friends, but to keep it simple, I’m only listing 3.  Wow, I feel better.  It helps to focus on the good things for a change.  What are your 3 positive things from today?

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How to track CI symptoms

November 6, 2011

How do you tracking your health stuff?  I’ve been looking for a good method but I just don’t know where to start.  The thing about chronic illnesses is that they’re, um, chronic.  Ok, yeah, that’s obvious, but hear me out.

If I had an ear infection and the doctor wanted me to track the pain for a few days, that would be easy.  But with a chronic illness, it means tracking things for the rest of my life.  Also, with the ear infection, I’d just be paying attention to pain.  With chronic illnesses I need to track pain, fatigue, nausea, blood tests, medications, MRIs, and many other things.  It’s a lot to keep track of!

A good tracking system could be invaluable.  Have you ever gone into the doctor, told them you were feeling better, then later wondered why on earth you said that?  I have.  I may have been feeling better at the time, but that didn’t mean I was doing better over all.  Oops.  It could provide a less subjective-to-the-moment viewpoint.  Plus, how great to be able to see how symptoms varied based on changes in medications or menstrual cycles.  But wait, stress could be a factor, so I suppose I should track stress levels too.  Oh, and climate makes a huge difference, so I should include that.  And working plays a huge role, so weekdays vs. weekends vs. vacations should be included.  And of course it should be electronic.  And it must be searchable, so that I enter a search term and I can see everyplace it occurs.

And based on all of this, I am suddenly spending an hour or more every day filling out information about how I am feeling and possible contributing factors.  It’s just too much, right?  How are we supposed to do this?

Someone must have a good solution.  If you have one, could you let me know?  Thanks!

Leave a Comment » | Expectations, Medication, Pain, Rants, Symptoms, Unpredictable | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

Time to mix things up

November 5, 2011

Yeah, that’s a bad pun in the title.  So sue me.  No, wait, that’s just sarcasm.  I didn’t mean it.

For many of us here in the United States (though not everyone, since it’s a screwy system) the clocks will “fall back” in a few hours as daylight savings time (DST) ends.  Now, it’s not as if those of us with health issues don’t have enough beyond our control to deal with, we have to deal with time changes too.

For some people this really won’t matter at all.  For people whose bodies are sensitive to sunlight, like mine, this is huge.  Yes, I’m the weirdo who flies from Boston to Chicago and the one hour time difference throws me off.  Yes, I travel to California and it takes me three days (at least) to adjust to the time difference.  DST is even worse.  At least when I travel, my schedule changes anyway because, well, I’m not at home.  But with DST I’m home, doing all the things I normally do, but the clocks are off.  I’m hungry at the wrong times.  I have to shift medication times.  And don’t let me get started on the sudden shift in daylight.  For someone with seasonal affective disorder this… well, it sucks.  A lot.

Why do we do this?  Well, it depends on who you ask.  If you read the link above, you’ll see some of the reasons.  Some of it is political, such as saving money by reducing energy costs through cutting down on artificial light.  My favorite (again, that’s sarcasm) is the idea that we should get up at sunrise and go to bed at sunset.  I’m sure that sounds like a great idea if you’re getting 16 hours of daylight.  For those of us who get around 9 hours of daylight in the winter, that’s just ridiculous.  And the powers that be (apparently this is Congress) can arrange DST however they want, but that doesn’t change what time you have to get up for work or get your kids up for school or head to the gym, etc.  The end of DST means that some people will wake up while it’s light out this week while others will be waking up in the dark.

Is it really worth all of this trouble?  I say no.  I’d rather keep DST time all year round, so that we get more daylight in the afternoon and less at night.  Actually, I’d rather spend have the year here in Boston and the other half someplace else, so that I always get at least 14 hours of daylight each day.  Now that sounds fantastic!

In the meantime, I better go change the clocks, adjust med times, and eat a little something extra so I’m not too hungry in the morning.  And maybe I’ll spend a few extra minutes in front of the light box in the morning.

Good luck to you!

Leave a Comment » | Expectations, Frustration, Limitations, Pain, Politics, Rants, Symptoms, Unpredictable | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

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