Communicate, people!

February 1, 2012

Many years back I created a family medical history chart.  I sent a spreadsheet around to the family listing all known family illnesses, and asked each person to fill it in, adding additional illnesses as needed.  I filled it out for my grandparents.

As it turns out, this was a brilliant idea!  Everyone loved it!  They all filled it out right away.  I compiled everything, then split it, making one spreadsheet for my mother’s side of the family and a separate one for my father’s side of the family.  I sent the appropriate spreadsheet to the appropriate people, and suddenly we all had a comprehensive family medical history!  I still bring this with me to medical appointments.  I recommend that everyone do this.

The problem is that it’s very outdated.  I tried to update it years ago, and no one was interested.  Of course, this only works if people update it.

I guess it makes sense, then, that I didn’t know about my aunt’s hypothyroid.  I got tested for hypothyroid many, many times over many, many years.  Then they changed the “normal” standards, and suddenly the same test results that were considered “normal” were now considered hypothyroid!  I started taking meds, adjusting them a bunch of times over the years, and figured this was the least of my problems.  (I was very wrong about that, but that’s a subject for another post.)  Last year my doctor decided to test my thyroid antibodies for the first time.  It amazes me that no one thought to do that before.  I got diagnosed as having autoimmune illnesses years before the hypothyroid diagnosis.  Why didn’t anyone think to test that?  With the “normal” antibody range maxing out at 35, and my results coming in at over 300, it was clear that I had an autoimmune issue with my thyroid.  Shocking.

I spoke to my doctor’s office today, getting the latest results.  Suddenly it hit me that this has a genetic aspect to it, so I emailed my immediate family and my cousins.  And what happened?  A cousin wrote back that her mother, my aunt, was diagnosed with a hypothyroid years ago!  WTF?

Now, I’ll admit, I wasn’t fantastic about communicating my antibody issues, but at least that only happened several months ago.  With my aunt we’re talking years.  For something with a genetic component.  It took 10 years for my first autoimmune issue to be diagnosed.  Now, 9 years after that, I have 7 diagnoses.  So far.  Many relatives were diagnosed after me, and theirs were much easier because they had my history to reference (I’m just about the oldest in my generation, and mine started at a young age, even before my grandmother’s RA.)  Wouldn’t they think that this information may have helped me get diagnosed?  Wouldn’t they think that maybe, just maybe, this is information worth sharing?  What else don’t I know?

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!

I try to be patient.  I really do.  But when family members don’t share basic information….?!?  Time to revive and update that chart.  And this time I’ll hound people until they get it done.  It’s too important to ignore.  We all need to talk about these things!

 

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Raising the bar on thoughtfulness

January 31, 2012

With all the shit forced on us all from CIs, sometimes a little thoughtfulness can go a really long way.

A close friend of mine had a baby about a week ago.  Leading up to the birth, I was so excited that she joked that her mother was the only person more excited than I was.  It was an exciting birth, but everything went smoothly and they’re all happy, healthy, and at home.

Unfortunately, the timing wasn’t great for me to visit – I had family flying in from all over the country just a few days after the birth, all coming to attend a bit family event this past weekend, so I had to delay my visit.  Finally, the day was approaching.  She lives two hours away.  Normally I visit for a few days at a time, but when her first child was born, I drove out for just a few hours, then drove home.  That was a very long day.  It was a Saturday, and I rested the next day and then went to work on Monday.  It was exhausting.  I did the same with her second child.

This time around I’m not working, but since I’m not feeling well, it will probably be more exhausting than the other visits.  Still, I can’t wait to meet the little guy!

Then yesterday my friend called – the older kids have colds.  The colds aren’t bad, but she wanted to warn me.  How thoughtful is that?!?  She’s juggling two little kids and a newborn infant, and she’s worried about my crappy immune system.  She’s just so sweet.

We’ve been friends for ages, since back when my only symptom was pain (ah, the good ole days), and so she understands better than most what I deal with, even though I hide a lot from the world (not just from her.)  And she knows that it’s not just about me being in a germy house – with little kids around, the germs spread more, and there’s no way I’ll visit without hugging the kids and playing with them.

It’s an easy solution – we’re just putting off the visit for a few days, to make sure everyone is healthy (oh, the torture of having to wait to see the little baby!)  But I know too many people who don’t think that way.  I see people shake hands when they have colds, cough into hands and then touch doorknobs, and generally be inconsiderate to the world around them.

How lucky am I to have a friend who is this thoughtful?  We all need to have someone in our lives like this.  She’s certainly set the bar pretty high for everyone else…..

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The blue moon effect

January 26, 2012

I try not to swear too much on here, but this week is so crazy!  What the fuck is going on this week?!?

Where to begin?  A friend just had a root canal.  A relative is having oral surgery that’s even worse than a root canal.  A friend’s kitten is dying.  A relative of a relative passed away.  A friend had a miscarriage.  A friend had a baby.  A friend got laid off.  A friend got married.  And that’s not to mention my own medication side effects and, even worse, my grandmother’s sudden trip to the hospital (she’s ok now, but she almost didn’t make it.)

So I’m thinking it’s something like a full moon, or maybe a blue moon, and an eclipse, and the stars all lining up in some weird way…. I don’t know.  It’s just too strange, though.  How is it that so many of the major people in my life are having major life events this week?

Now here’s the strangest part of all.  This is the CI-related part.  This is the part that I can’t get used to.

THEY ALL KEEP ASKING ME HOW I’M DOING!

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled that everyone cares.  But when a friend calls up, as she did about 45 minutes ago, and says in a pain-filled and drug-filled voice that she just had a root canal, but then keeps asking how I’m feeling, something must be wrong.  When my mother calls me after a night of crying at her mother’s hospital bedside and asks how I’m feeling, something must be wrong.  And when a friend calls up to tell me that she had a baby about 16 hours ago, and wants to know how I’m feeling, something must be wrong.

So now I have to wonder, does their own stress cause them to think more about me, or have I declined in some way that I’m not seeing, and it concerns them?  I appreciate their concern, but these are events that should have me focused on them, not the other way around.

How can I get them to stop worrying about me?  Maybe it’s not possible.  But I’m going to try, because I’ll be damned if my ongoing health issues are the center of attention all the time.  Sometimes, yes.  All the time, not a chance.  This is a time to focus on my friends and family.  Screw the blue moon eclipse thingy.

But I’m starting to wonder… what news will the next phone call bring?

 

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Suffering symptoms vs. stepping into side effects

January 23, 2012

I thought Thursday’s fall was bad, but I had no idea what my body was really in for.

On Thursday, before the fall, I had finally had the big appointment with my rheumatologist.  Even though we didn’t have any solutions, I felt much better afterwards.  She reminded me that I’ve had a lot of ups and downs over the years, and that my memory was a bit clouded; yes, I’d been just as bad off as this before, sometimes worse.  And while it wasn’t necessarily a solution, we did have a course of action: a new med.  This was an anti-depressant that’s sometimes used for these kinds of illnesses.  It can help with fatigue and with arthritic pain.  Sure, there are some severe potential side effects (like suicide!) but we decided to try it.

Boy was I unprepared!  Within a few hours I was really hot and my skin was tingling.  My heart was racing.  I had diarrhea.  And then I was vomiting like I never have in my entire life.  This was bad!  Luckily, I had a friend visiting and she insisted on staying all day, until I felt better and went to bed for the night.  Thankfully, the worst of it only lasted a couple of hours.

Now, obviously I knew this was bad, but I didn’t realize how bad it was until I heard my doctor’s concern today, and then heard her shock when I said I’d only taken one dose.  She had prescribed the lowest dose they make.  This was considered a very severe reaction.  So the question is, should I try a different type of anti-depressant?

For a less severe reaction, of course the answer would be yes.  The funny thing is, I was willing to risk it, but my doctor wants to exhaust all other options first.  Now, I don’t really want to go through that horrible experience again, but it was only a few hours, and isn’t it worth it if the drug might actually work and help me?  Like I said before, the options are lousy, but they’re all we have.  Just because the side effects suck doesn’t mean they’re necessarily worse than the symptoms that the meds are trying to fix.

It happens all the time, and for me it’s happening again: symptoms vs. side effects.  What a rotten choice.

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