My family has always been close. Sure, there’s the occasional outlier, but generally we’re all there for each other. We take care of each other. And that’s what made yesterday and today so difficult.
In the middle of the night Monday, my grandmother was taken to the hospital. She lives near me in the Boston area, and so do two of her children, my mother and an aunt. My mother and my aunt took care of my grandparents yesterday, staying with my grandmother and taking my grandfather home to get some rest, then back to the hospital for another visit. No one had gotten much sleep the night before. My aunt slept at my grandparents’ apartment yesterday so that my grandfather wouldn’t be alone. My mother “slept” (but really didn’t get any sleep) on a cot in my grandmother’s hospital room. I stayed home.
I want to be there, to spend time with them, to help, but I can’t simply because my immune system sucks. There are too many germs in the hospital. Norovirus is going around, and they have a case of pneumonia there too. Even my sick grandmother told me it wasn’t safe for me at the hospital! I wanted to argue, but the truth is, they’re right!
It’s bad enough when I can’t take care of someone because I don’t feel up to it, but this time I actually felt ok and I still couldn’t help. I’m pissed off! It sucks when I feel lousy, but then it has to intrude on my ability to help others? That’s just so wrong! I’m glad there is other family around to help out in times like these, but I should have been able to help too. I’m lousy at handling my limitations. I know that. But this is just going too far.
Please share this on Facebook, Twitter, etc. This blog is new, and it would be great to have it passed along.