It’s carnival time! I’m excited to have this post on Chronic Babe’s carnival about the perfect gift. This is a great carnival, so please pass the word.
The perfect gift
October 3, 2011
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Posted by chronicrants
How do you reassure people?
October 2, 2011Telling a stranger or an acquaintance about my health issues can be difficult, only because it is hard to make them understand. We all know that, right?
I find it infinitely harder to talk to loved ones about it, especially when there’s something negative happening. How do you tell your loved ones that things are bad? The last thing I want to do is upset people. Even when they are being the most wonderful, supportive friends and family I could ever want, I can see they’re hurting, and that is more painful than anything I deal with on a daily basis. That’s why I don’t tell them most of what I deal with. And that’s why I started this blog: it’s much easier to complain to anonymous readers than to upset my loved ones. Plus, if you’re reading this then you probably have similar conditions, so you understand. You know that as bad as things are, they’re probably not as bad as what’s in the minds of family and friends. But how can I convince them of that?
More than anything, I want to reassure my family and friends right now that I am ok. Yes, I need to take a few months off of work, but really, I’m ok. I mean, sure, I’m not really ok, because if I was, I wouldn’t need the time off. Yeah, I know that. But aside from that, I’M OK! REALLY! I guess it would be more convincing if it was as true as I want it to be.
I wonder how other people handle this? Is there any possible way to tell your loved ones that you’re worse without upsetting them? I guess not. I’d be upset of the situation were reversed. But it still feels lousy. This has been an incredibly difficult and emotional ordeal, and as I write this post, this is the first time I’ve cried. Suddenly, I can’t stop the tears. I can handle my own problems, but causing pain to others is unbearable. This is the pain that no one warns you about.
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2 Comments | Educating, Expectations, Isolation, Kindness, Rants, Raves, Support, Thoughtfulness | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants
Where’s the compassion?
September 29, 2011Arrrgh!! Some days are just so frustrating!
A lot of life is frustrating of course. Fighting traffic, pushing through crowds, dealing with less-than-helpful customer support services, and fighting with uncooperative computers a la Office Space are typical daily frustrations. But today I’m talking about people.
More specifically, I’m talking about people who lack compassion. One day I wasn’t able to walk, so a friend and I did some shopping with me in a wheelchair, her pushing it. There was the sweet teenager who saw us coming and ran ahead to open a door. But then there was the woman who told us we were being too slow and rudely pushed her way past us. Nice, huh? Well, this second one is the type I’m talking about today.
In the last few days I’ve been hearing too many things, directly and indirectly, that demonstrate how much some people lack compassion. There was the woman who told me, while talking about my health, that my “reputation is the most important thing.” There’s a friend who needs an incredibly simple accommodation at work, he brought in the medical documentation, and he’s being given the runaround by his employer. And non-health-related, there’s the person whose office scheduled a mandatory meeting for yesterday, the start of Jewish holiday, and then gave her a hard time for leaving early to prepare for the holiday.
In many ways our culture is one of me, me, me. Sometimes I see people thinking about the good of their neighborhood, the good of their community, or the good of society in general. That’s a start. Less often, I see people who try to put themselves in the places of their friends, neighbors, and colleagues and who try to truly understand their wants and needs. It’s a shame; I really believe this world would be a better place if we all did that from time to time. Yes, that sounds a bit Pollyanna-ish, but I believe it. When an elderly woman comes onto the train with a cane, give up your seat. And when a healthy-looking 20-something asks for your seat, believe they have a good reason, and give it up with a smile. It’s possible you’ll make someone’s day just a bit easier.
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Leave a Comment » | Educating, Expectations, Frustration, Insensitive, Politics, Rants, Support | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants
Health vs. Reputation: No Contest!
September 27, 2011“The most important thing you have is your reputation.”
Yes, someone actually said that to me today, when we were talking about my health! I was shocked. I heard, “The most important thing 
you have is….” and I just assumed she’d end it with “your health.” I can’t believe she didn’t! I was talking to someone who works in a professional role dealing with employee health-related accommodations. I wanted to figure out the whole short term disability thing. She was saying that if I need it, I should do it. It’s just that her reasoning was different from mine. She was saying that it’s better that I take the time if I need it, than to stay in the job and let my work suffer. She’s right. She’s especially right because, legally, once I take disability they can’t fire me, but if I stay and do bad work, then they can fire me for sucking at my job (my words, not hers.)
She’s right, but shouldn’t the reasoning be that if I need the time I should take it, because the most important thing I have is my health, and I shouldn’t let it suffer for the sake of a job? Shouldn’t it be that the insurance is there just for people like me, so we can use the time to get better? Shouldn’t health always be more important than reputation? I mean reputation matters (there’s no way I’d be writing this if my name was on this blog, for example), but isn’t it more important that we be healthy?
I guess everyone has different priorities. Boy am I glad I don’t have hers!
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Leave a Comment » | Decisions, Educating, Expectations, Insensitive, Job, Rants | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants
Chronic Rants 