Chronic Rants

Ever feel like your life is out of control?  Yeah, me too.  So I’ve decided to get control over at least some parts of it.

I can’t control my health.  Sure, I try to manage it the best that I can, but these illnesses will progress in some way no matter what I do.  So it’s time to take control of the non-health parts of my life, and hopefully I can improve my health in the process.

As I’ve said, working full time makes me feel lousy.  I’d rather work at my job part time, but then I couldn’t afford my current lifestyle.  Sure, I could cut back on some things, but my lifestyle really isn’t all that extravagant.  It’s not as if I were spending even $30,000 a year on expenses.  So I’ve decided to take some time off through short term disability insurance so that I can get my life in order, then I will work part time for a while and use some money I’ve saved up over the years to cover the gap.  After that….

…. and that’s what I’m working on now.  The next step.  It’s time to take proactive steps to improve things.  I woke up too early this morning, but my brain was swirling and I couldn’t sleep.  I’m so excited about the possibilities!  I’m working on setting up a consulting business.  I have no idea if I’ll be able to make significant money at it.  Maybe I can make enough to have it support me one day.  Maybe it will just make enough so that I can work in an office only part time and use the consulting to make up the salary gap.  But if I make any money off of it then it has a few big advantages:

1) I’d be my own boss!  I wouldn’t have to explain my sick days to anyone, or worry about their expectations of my health.

2) I’d have a more flexible schedule.  When I felt sick, I’d rest.  When I felt good, I’d work.  Yes, I’d still have to feel good enough to work enough to earn enough, but at least I could schedule it so that it worked best for me.

3) As a result of 1 and 2 I could exercise more, eat better, and overall take better care of myself.  I’d be in control of my life!

I know this may be an idealized view, but I have good reasons to believe that if I can make this business work, I’d be much happier with my life.  And I do have reason to think this business could work.  I’m racing against the clock now – the prep work takes a lot of time and effort, and I know I need to finish it while I’m still on the Prednisone and have the energy to get it done.  I expect to launch the business in a matter of weeks (or maybe days!)

I’m tired of being on this health and life see-saw.  One day is great, the next is lousy, the next is decent.  I want something more stable.  And I’m will to work hard to get it.  I sincerely hope that I succeed.

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This entry was posted on Saturday, September 24th, 2011 at 10:02 am and is filed under Decisions, Educating, Expectations, Limitations, Pain, Rants, Raves, Support, Symptoms, Unpredictable. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.