Over the years I’ve learned to control my stress levels. In addition to the obvious emotional benefits, it does wonders for my physical health. Stress exacerbates everything, so I’m happy to avoid it. Lately, though, it just keeps piling on.
I moved to a new apartment 2 weeks ago. I absolutely love it here! The move was less stressful than I would have thought, and I unpacked very quickly. Unfortunately, while the boxes are gone, the place is a mess. There are papers in various places and clutter on the counter. To a stranger it doesn’t look like I just moved in (except for the empty walls) – it simply looks like I’m unorganized. And the clutter is getting to me. The mess makes my mind feel messy.
On top of the clutter, there are so many little things to do! I need to fill out forms for fuel assistance in my new town, get on local mailing lists and off of my old mailing lists, and a dozen other things. And of course, I need to decorate, which feels unnatural to me. It takes hours to research things I want and then, just when I make my decisions, I find out the thing is out of stock.
Those wouldn’t bother me at all, though, if it wasn’t for the rest. My laptop has been on the fritz for over a month! Even the repair guy has given up. It’s time for a new one, even though that machine was only two years old. So I need to research a new computer. I’m not sure what to get and I’m wracked with insecurity – what if I get another crappy machine, despite researching them thoroughly? And of course, that’s money I hadn’t planned to spend, too.
My Tivo is pretty new. I planned out that purchase last summer and it was a smart move. I have a cheap antenna that I bought online and now I can record all of my favorite shows on the channels I get over the airwaves – no monthly fees! But a few days ago the Tivo began to buzz. It’s a strange, annoying sound. The quiet of my new home is ruined by this constant buzzing. When nothing is set to record I unplug it, but that’s annoying and not something I want to do permanently. I need to figure out how to fix it, or else see if it can be replaced under the warranty.
It’s the end of the year, which means the federal government wants to know about my income for the last year, not just for taxes, but for my benefits. Oy! That would be easy if my laptop was working, but without it.
And because I moved, other benefits offices want information about my finances, too. How can I tell them about my utility bills when I haven’t received any yet? I just moved in!
I do little things to earn some money, but they all require the computer. Damn that laptop for breaking just as I was getting ready to move!
I was going to try online dating, actually, but I need a working laptop for that.
Because of the move I didn’t schedule any doctor appointments for the entire month of December. It was lovely. But now I’m making up for it. I had 2 yesterday (Friday.) I have another Monday. There are several more over the next few weeks, too. I need to start a medication on Monday that will make me feel like crap for about 2 weeks, but I already put it off longer than I should.
As I was telling someone today what I planned to buy for new furniture (cheap, but nice looking!) she tried to talk me out of it for no good reason. I almost lost my temper. I’m stressed out by trying to juggle way too many balls in the air. It’s just too much! I don’t need someone disagreeing with me over something so basic. Why mess up my plans? I know she didn’t mean any harm, but I just don’t have it in me to deal with anything new. I can’t handle more.
These thing are all so little, but they’re just too much. Just like 1 ball of yarn is light, but 50 weighs too much for me to carry. It too damn much.
And yet I’m super lucky. My awesome parents are buying a lot of my new apartment decorations. Several relatives gave me Amazon gift cards as housewarming gifts so I can buy more. I have enough savings to buy a laptop. I can afford all of this. I have the time available to work through it all. Ok, I don’t really have the energy for it, but I’m getting there. I’m so lucky.
But I’m still stressed.
And it’s affecting my health.
How do you handle it when you have too many balls in the air? How do you relax when 50 different things are calling for your attention? Please comment below and let’s share some ideas!
Chronic Rants 
I am fortunate to have a husband to help, whilst he might not help do the job he will cook dinner,shop etc. However, I would really stress out if my only laptop went as we rely on them so much now as most things are online. The furniture sounds great and sometimes people don’t realise that you don’t need negativity without offering a similar idea. In the end as with all things I suppose its sitting down and prioritising things. At least when you get your pooch you will be able to talk to him/her and it does help to talk things through out loud. HUgs xx
Your hubby sounds wonderful, Lorna. It’s so great that you have him, on many levels I’m sure. I do talk to myself out loud, but I agree, talking to a dog is better 🙂 The new laptop has been delayed, but I’m doing what I can, and with any luck, I’ll have my non-laptop stuff decently organized by the time it gets worked out. I hope!!