Impatient for Improvement

I vaguely (damn brain fog!) remembered writing something about wanting to get better soon, so I looked through recent posts and found this one. It’s hard to believe that was only a month ago. I feel like so much has changed, even while it’s all stayed the same.

In that post I wrote about a recent increase in energy. Unfortunately, that didn’t last. After several glorious weeks I had a physically difficult treatment, had several bad days following it, and never got that energy back. Still, I’m feeling fairly optimistic. That when attitude has really taken over my entire perspective.

After many, many years of symptoms, I’d gotten good at understanding my body, but recently it’s gotten to a whole new level. I’m more aware than ever of body temperature changes, heart palpitations, joint stiffness, and other smaller symptoms that I used to ignore. I’ve gotten a really good sense of what’s happening with my body.

On top of that, I’ve been reading! Thanks to my local library, I’ve read a bunch of books about what I now believe is the main cause of most of my serious symptoms: Hashimoto’s Disease. I believe that Hashimoto’s caused my hypothyroid, and when the hypothyroid wasn’t properly treated it led to adrenal insufficiency, low iron, and other issues. For once, I think I know what’s wrong. And even better, I have an idea of how to treat it!

The thing about treating hypothyroid is that the secondary issues (low iron, adrenal insufficiency, vitamin and mineral depletion) must be treated first or else the thyroid treatment won’t work and it could even make symptoms worse. I’ve been working on fixing those secondary issues for a while and I think I’m getting close. I will have tests done next month that will confirm if I’m ready to begin the thyroid treatment, which is very different than the thyroid treatment I’ve been taking for many years now. It’s possible those tests will show I’m not ready to start this new treatment, that I need to work more on the secondary issues, but it’s also possible that I’ll finally be ready to start something new and promising!

So every day I continue to read books that make it sound like this new treatment (or one of the alternative treatments) could do wonders for me. I participate in online patient groups where others talk about how much better they feel after just a few weeks or months (or sometimes even days) on this treatment, after getting off of the one I’ve been taking. I see what could be for me, and I want it so badly! It’s right there, sitting on my dresser. Literally. I filled the prescription already so that it will be ready as soon as I get the test results. (I didn’t want to take a chance of having any last-minute insurance issues or anything, so I filled it as soon as I got the prescription.)

Patience is a virtue that I’ve never had. Hey, no one’s perfect. We all have our faults, and mine is that I’m impatient. But this is a whole new level. It’s one thing to be impatient to get a new cell phone, try a new restaurant, or complete a project. But a return to health* would be HUGE! On the one hand, I’ve waited for years, so what’s a few more months. On the other hand, I’ve waited for YEARS so why should have to wait any longer? I’m ready to be done with the waiting part. I want to be on the doing something part. Sure, I’m doing something by researching and making plans, but I see that pill bottle sitting on my dresser and I’m so impatient to try it. Just try it. Maybe it will work. Maybe, a few months from now, I’ll feel better. Maybe I won’t be sitting home more days than I’m going out. Maybe I won’t have to turn down invitations to go out at night. Maybe I’ll be able to go back to work and earn an income again. Maybe I can feel mostly ok. Or maybe not, but I’d like to at least try.

So for now I’m waiting impatiently to at least try to improve. In 5 or 6 weeks I’ll have all of my test results and I’ll know, one way or another, if I’m ready to move on to this potentially exciting next step. Please send good thoughts my way – I need all the help I can get!

*Like I’ve said before, I don’t expect to ever be 100% healthy again, but I do think I could be much, much better than I am right now.

4 Responses to Impatient for Improvement

  1. Karen J says:

    Oh, HURRAY! for more self-awareness, and “When…” instead of “If…”!!!
    ~ and yaknow what else? HURRAY! for “Maybe…” instead of “I can’t…”!!! That’s a *huge* shift in mindset and outlook, all by itself!

    Happy-Dancing for you, near Chicago ❤

  2. Tamara Epps says:

    So glad to read such a positive and energetic post. I can’t help but worry that if this treatment doesn’t work for you, then you’ll feel worse from having such high hopes; but at the same time I want you to feel hopeful and continue looking to the future you want (and deserve). I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you, and hope you will continue to update us on how your health is doing.

    • chronicrants says:

      Thanks for your concern, Tamara. I actually meant to address the whole “what if this doesn’t work” issue, but thanks to brain fog, I completely forgot – oops! I meant to write about a couple of other things, too. Maybe I’ll do a Part 2 later this week.

      Thanks for all of your support! And yes, I’ll definitely write updates 🙂

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