Chronic Rants

There’s a great moment in an old episode of “Mad About You.” Jamie walks into the apartment and tells her husband that she won the big account she was working on. Then she throws down everything her arms and jumps up and down wildly, waving her arms, and screaming, “I won! I won! I won!” That’s been going through my head a lot lately.

I applied for long term disability insurance in the spring of 2012 and FINALLY last week I got a resolution: I WON! Well, ok, I know “winning” isn’t the most accurate term, but after being denied and appealing and having the appeal delayed over and over and over again, it sure feels like a major WIN.

I’ve been alternating between jumping up and down (well, figuratively anyway) and wondering if maybe I dreamed it all. Did I really win? Is it actually over? Did I really speak to my lawyer or am I just imagining it? My family and friends have been amazingly supportive through this whole ridiculous mess and this is no different: I’ve gotten hugs, tweets, emails, and phone calls of joy. They are so happy for me. But me, I’m still in disbelief. Could it really be over?

Of course, it’s not really over. I have yet to receive the payment for money owed. I still have to get paperwork assuring me of the ongoing monthly payments. My lawyer needs to be paid. I need to get my old health insurance back, hopefully before my next medical appointment in two weeks. Once I have the health insurance, I need to start applying for reimbursements for prescriptions not covered by medicaid. There’s a whole long list of things I need to do.

And those don’t include the worst of all: preparing for the next stage. My Social Security application is still pending, but that’s not what worries me. What worries me is that the LTD process dragged out for so long, that in a few months I will need to start the application process for the next stage of coverage! After so many months of effort and anxiety, I really want to rest and focus on my health. I don’t want the distraction of more of this bullshit.

So for now I’m trying to just focus on the win. I’m trying to remember that I succeeded. I’m trying to remember that even though I got only what I deserved (actually, less, when you consider the many hours and huge amounts of money spent on lawyers, medical records, medical visits, etc.) this is a good thing. There is more to be done, but that can wait. It will still be there next week. Right now, I need to (figuratively) jump in the air and shout: I WON I WON I WON!!!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 16th, 2013 at 5:45 pm and is filed under Expectations, Healthcare, Limitations, Milestones, Rants, Raves, Support, Unpredictable. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.