I was tired, but it was more than tired. It was exhaustion. It was like someone sucked my energy out of my body with a vacuum.
My muscles were tired, but that’s not really the word. They were worn out. They were heavy. It was an effort to pick up my phone. It was tiring to type or pull up the blanket or roll over.
Something hurt. I don’t know what hurt, or where specifically, or what kind of hurt. I just knew that something hurt.
I was hungry, but I was too tired to get out of bed for food, so I just lay there. I tried to get up, but I couldn’t manage to exert that much effort.
And while I lay there, I thought about how to describe what I was feeling. My doctors would ask. A good description might help with a new treatment. The problem was, I just didn’t have the words. I couldn’t pinpoint the feelings. If the vocabulary existed, I didn’t have it.
This wasn’t the first time I lacked the words to describe how my body felt, and I know it won’t have been the last. I just hope that somehow I can find a way to convey it all to the doctors one day. And to the nay-sayers.