When I started this blog last July, I wrote every single day for months. If I missed a day, I wrote two posts the next day. I averaged one post each day for a long time, always making it a priority. And then the fatigue got worse. The downslide started by missing a day here and there without making it up, and it quickly snowballed to missing several days at a time. At some point this began to feel acceptable, and then even normal.
Earlier this week I felt absolutely lousy and wasn’t able to leave the house for two days. My arms were weak, and trying to type or hold
the tv remote or hold a book took a huge effort. I made the mistake of trying to shower once…. what was I thinking? And in the midst of that, this blog’s anniversary just passed me by. I had long since given myself permission to ignore the blog on the days I felt bad or had nothing of special interest to write, and the big day came and went, the huge print in my calendar completely unnoticed.
Most of you know how it is. We miss friends’ weddings and birthdays. We lose jobs and we lose significant others. We miss out on life. But somehow, a new day comes around, with a new chance to maybe do something fun or interesting or important. So with that in mind, I’ll try not to dwell on the missed opportunities, of which there can be so many, and try instead to focus on the good moments and the joy they bring.
But don’t worry, I’ll resume my regular ranting soon enough!
Bless you, I think fatigue is one of the worst parts of the disease. It creeps up and smothers you in unrelenting fog.
I think you should congratulate yourself on completing a whole year of blogging and letting people like me into your thoughts and feelings. It is not a missed opportunity but a chance to allow you to celebrate your achievement anyway.
Thanks Lorna! This blog has saved me in so many ways. Having an outlet for my thoughts and feelings has been great, but receiving support and understanding from such a fabulous community has given me more than I can say. Thank you for being a part of it.