Breaking routines and pushing boundries

After many months at home, I finally got out of town this weekend.  Aside from being too short (as always) the trip couldn’t have been better.  The weather was fantastic, better than anything I’ve seen this time of year.  I had good company and a great atmosphere.  We ate healthy food and took many walks.  That last part was the most amazing part.

For many months I’ve been fighting fatigue.  I’d love to say that the fresh ocean air was enough to fix everything, but of course it wasn’t.  Still, it helped a lot.  Getting away helped.  Getting out of the city helped.  Being pushed to do more by someone else helped.  And somehow, yesterday, I actually walked 3 miles!  Now, I won’t pretend that I could do that every day.  And afterwards I was so exhausted that I took a nap (with the dog, who was even more worn out), something I haven’t been doing as much anymore.  Still, I walked 3 miles!

We stopped to rest a lot, and we didn’t walk very fast, but we made it.  One great part was the exercise.  Another great part was the fresh air and beautiful views.  But there was something even better: knowing that I was able to accomplish this.  The last 6 months have been so demoralizing that this long walk, even if it was just a one-time thing, was a reminder that in some way, at some time, I am still capable of it.

I don’t know when or if I’ll be able to do that again, but for now I know that this weekend, I was able to walk 3 miles.  This weekend I felt good.  No, it wasn’t perfect.  I had nausea and back pain and whatnot, but I walked 3 miles.  Whatever happens next won’t change that.

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