People say that we all have the same number of hours in a day, but I beg to differ.
These days, I can’t seem to get through the afternoon without needing to rest for a while or nap. Even after I wake up, I’m not very productive. I have been on a leave of absence from work for several weeks now. I thought that by now I’d have cleaned up my apartment and caught up on email, but somehow, that doesn’t seem to happen.
Fatigue is a difficult thing to describe if you’ve never experienced it. Even now, I know that I’m lucky, because I know that there are many people with much more severe fatigue than what I have. Some sleep for 12 or 15 hours a day. How do you accomplish anything at that point? I don’t know, but I know it must be similar to what I have now in one way: you have no choice, so you find a way.
This is frustrating. I want so badly to use all of my waking hours productively, but that’s just not an option right now. The thing about fatigue is that extra sleep or more rest won’t fix it. Exercise won’t fix it either. It’s infuriating but true.
So now another day is over and I’ve accomplished much less than I wanted to, and that will have to be ok because I have no choice. I’m angry and frustrated, but I can’t do anything about it. I can hope that tomorrow will be better, but I just don’t know.