Some chronic illness benefits of sex

March 19, 2012

Please excuse my absence.  First I was busy feeling sick, then I was busy having sex.  Guess which was better?

Sex is a very controversial topic in some parts of our culture.  At the moment, some politicians are saying that women should only have sex for purposes of procreation.  They say that women who use birth control are sluts and that women who have abortions are murderers.  Since I plan to never have children, I suppose that means that according to them I should not have sex until after menopause.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about, pick up just about any American newspaper.  The stories are hard to miss.

Luckily I don’t believe in any of that.  I’m a fan of sex, and I use birth control.  If that bothers you, you should stop reading now.

I have heard, read, and been told that sex can help many of my symptoms.*  More than that, I’ve experienced it.  A few years back I
was seeing someone, and I would sometimes call him up, tell him I felt lousy, and say I wanted to come over for sex.  It was fantastic.  And it worked.  Sex is a great form of exercise.  Muscles are used in ways that we might not normally use them.  It’s a great cardio workout.  It’s a stress reliever.  It can lead to better sleep.  And who doesn’t love a rush of endorphins?*

Now, this doesn’t work for everyone.  And of course there are limitations.  We must be careful of STDs and pregnancy (or just STDs, if you’re having same sex sex, one partner is a woman past menopause, you’re having oral sex, you’re having anal sex, at least one partner is infertile, etc.)  It’s always important to be with someone you trust, but I think that’s the case even more so when health issues are involved.  If pain is a problem, then it’s important to not exacerbate the pain.  And of course it’s crucial to listen to our bodies and to stop or make adjustments if necessary so that we don’t injure ourselves or cause other problems.

Sex is a rarity for me these days.  I do not enter into sexual relationships casually, and so I sometimes go for many months without sex.  In fact, it had been so long that I had forgotten just how helpful sex can be for me.  Of course there are the obvious reasons why I enjoy sex.  It’s just that there are also additional benefits.  For me, the timing was especially fortuitous since I was having a bad flare last week.  In fact, I didn’t think I would feel well enough to have sex.  Thankfully, I just barely felt up to it, and my partner understands my health conditions well and was willing to stop at any point, do most of the work, and be careful of my painful joints.  Having a partner like that makes all the difference.

Now I’m well rested (I slept great after each time!), less depressed, and in less pain.  I can feel that I got a great workout.  And as an additional benefit, I feel great about my body.  (Personally, I always feel especially sexy after sex.)

I’m not about to go off my meds or give up my new diet, but it’s great to know that I have the option of a fun additional treatment: SEX!

*I am not a doctor or a medical professional.  I am writing about my own experiences and about those of people I know or have read about.  If you think that this may help you, please seek advice from a medical professional.

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How honest are your doctors?

February 23, 2012

Has your doctor ever lied to you?  Actually, let’s change that: have you ever caught your doctor lying to you?

I remember the first big lie I found: I was reading my medical record, and I discovered that a surgery had found something that my doctor hadn’t mentioned to me or to my parents (I was a minor then.)  I had left that doctor a few years earlier and I immediately picked up the phone and reached him at his office.  He said that I was remembering wrong, that he had told us everything, and he hung up.  I never did like him.

Then there was a different, stranger lie.  After years of digestive problems, I asked my doctor to test me for lactose intolerance.  He said there was no test for it.  Huh?  Of course there was a test!  He didn’t say that he didn’t like the test, or he didn’t believe it was accurate… he said no test existed!  Why would he lie about something like that?

I’ve been thinking about these things since this article appeared in the paper a couple weeks ago.  Some of the things doctors lie about are ties to drug companies and such.  That bothers me; if I asked a doctor outright about a connection to a pharmaceutical company, I expect to get a truthful answer.

But what I think is one of the most disturbing parts of this article is this line:

“…nearly 90 percent of doctors reported that patients should be fully informed about the benefits and risks of a procedure or drug.”

This is horrifying!  Only 90%!  But then, look at the part before that line:

“Barry added that he was “gratified” to see that nearly 90 percent of doctors reported that patients should be fully informed about the benefits and risks of a procedure or drug.”

Someone thinks that 90% is good!  In some cases 90% is great – like getting 90% right on a high school math test, or cleaning 90% of your house on a Saturday afternoon.  But when it comes to informing patients about drugs and procedures, nothing less than 100% should be acceptable!  And note that they aren’t saying 90% informed their patients.  That would be bad enough.  No, they reported that 90% think that “…patients should be fully informed…” [Note: that’s my bolding]  Are you kidding?!?  There are 10% of doctors who don’t think patients should know all of the potential benefits and risks they are taking on with a particular drug or procedure?  Do they really think they should be making these decisions for their patients?  It is their job to suggest and advise, not to make the ultimate decisions!

We all have our own ways of choosing our medical team.  Personally, I go with gut feelings a lot, and trust is a big part of that.  If I don’t think I can trust someone, they’re out.  My health is simply too important to rely on someone I don’t trust for medical advice.  I feel good about most of my doctors.  I feel comfortable with them, and I do believe that they are being forthright and honest with me.  Nothing builds my trust as much as when one of them says that they just don’t know what the answer is, but they will give me all of the information and help me figure things out.  I would much rather hear “I don’t know” than hear a lie.

We must demand 100% honesty from our doctors.  We deserve it.  And they need to know it.

 

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Gluten-free day 1: The merry-go-round

February 20, 2012

Drugs, physical therapy, hypnosis, more drugs, diet, tai chi, acupuncture, meditation, psychotherapy, herbal medicine, yet more drugs…. I’ve tried a lot of different “treatments” over the years, and so far some have helped a bit, but none has eliminated any of my symptoms.  At best, a couple have lessened the pain, but that’s about it.

Now I’m looking at what could be the holy grail of treatments: a gluten-free diet.  According to books, web sites, doctors, and the nutritionist I met with last week, this could be the key.  Of course, the logical, weary, tired part of me knows that this could be just one more false lead.  Still, I’d like to hold out a little hope.

If the books and experts and such are right, then gluten can triggers an autoimmune response in the body, and eliminating gluten and relieve that response and therefore the symptoms.  In six months I could have less pain, less fatigue, less nausea…. it’s almost too much to hope for!

I’m realistic.  I don’t expected to be “cured” or anything close to it.  But if I could get a little energy back, that would be the best thing I could imagine right now.  So I figure it’s worth a shot.  Even if this doesn’t work, it probably won’t hurt me.  I just had two days of worse-than-usual nausea from adjusting a medication dose.  Sure, going gluten-free is inconvenient, but if it works, I’ll gladly do it for the rest of my life.

So today was day 1 of being gluten-free.  It was what could literally be the first day of the rest of my new life.  I sure hope it is.

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High on life and Prednisone

February 17, 2012

After months of feeling tired, run-down, and sometimes even fatigued, I suddenly had two good days in a row!  I was so excited that maybe something could be changing.  I mean, I wasn’t about to do some huge amount of activity, but I could do a bunch of little things and still feel good.

And then I remembered that I had taken Prednisone these two days.  Damn!

The clinical details aren’t important.  It comes down to this: trying to prevent physical and mental harm, and also trying to avoid another long stint on Prednisone, my doc and I agreed that I’d take the steroid for just a few days, including the taper.  It seems to be helping the pain that it’s supposed to treat, but it’s too soon to be sure of that.  In the meantime, it gave me an energy boost that is both exhilarating and depressing.

It’s a bit depressing to know that this energy burst probably won’t last, but it’s also so wonderful to remember how it feels to not be tired all the time.  True, even with the drugs I’m not exactly about to take a super long walk or go to the gym, but yesterday I saw a doc, read at the library for a couple hours, then hung out with a friend at her place for an hour (and even played with her kid a bit), then came home and was a bit tired, but not really worn down like usual.  And for the last few months, that would have been too much activity for one day and I would have felt horrible the next day, but today I’m actually ok.

It’s always the same old thing: I know I could take Prednisone long term and feel better.  I could go back to work, hang out with friends, date, travel…. get my life back!  But I’d also be slowly poisoning myself, and that’s not ok.

Then again, living like this isn’t ok either.  There’s no good answer.  I’m going to try some dietary changes and maybe that will help.  In the meantime, I’ll be holding onto the precious memory from this week of what it feels like to do things without feeling exhausted.  I can hardly wait to feel that way again…. one day.

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