It’s no secret that I have sleep issues. I’ve had sleep issues for as long as I can remember. My mother says that as a toddler, I didn’t nap. I remember pretending to nap in preschool so the teachers wouldn’t get mad at me for being awake. I would lay there quietly, feeling restless and bored. Things didn’t get better as I got older. My point is, sleep problems aren’t new to me. But they’re still a pain in the ass.
I got diagnosed with a form of sleep apnea earlier this year. Using a cpap machine has made a huge difference. Or at least, it did. My problem is that the mask needs to be replaced every 3 months, and I noticed a huge difference in my sleep about 2 weeks before that 3 month time was up. But when I reached the 3-week point, I had some insurance issues, so the company wouldn’t give me a new mask. I get it from their point of view – they had no one to bill but me, and I wasn’t jumping to pay $400. Still, this was a real problem. I waited anxiously for Medicare to come through, or for Medicaid to be more solid, or something. Then, finally, I got the insurance issues temporarily settled and I got my new mask a few days ago. Relief was in sight!
But it didn’t work. It got worse. Sleeping with the cpap right now is only marginally better than sleeping with out it, and sometimes it’s worse. My adrenal insomnia has returned. When it started last year, I had no idea what was happening. I’d be sleeping normally, then wake up around 3 or 4am, and it would take 1-2 hours to get back to sleep. I finally found other people mentioning it in some of the thyroid and adrenal online groups. It has to do with a change in cortisol levels around that time. It was making all of my sleep and energy problems worse. It didn’t happen every night, but I didn’t know which would be the nights it would hit me. I was so glad when they disappeared completely with the arrival of the CPAP machine. I was sleeping through the night again!
And now it’s back.
Twice in the last three nights I had that adrenal insomnia. Twice I found myself awake at 4am. Twice I have woken up feeling like a zombie. And the night in between I slept straight through for 10.5 hours and woke up feeling unrested. Not exactly an improvement.
I would love to go to a picnic this afternoon, but I wonder if I should just stay home and rest. Some friends invited me to watch an outdoor movie with them, but I’m thinking I might be better off having a quiet night at home. Then again, since I seem to be caught in this miserable loop, maybe I should just go out anyway, because chances are, no matter what I do, I won’t be sleeping well tonight.
[Note: I have messages waiting for both the CPAP supplier and my sleep doctor, so I’m hoping that one or both of them can help me figure out what’s going on. But today is Sunday, so I won’t be seeing any improvement tonight, unfortunately.]