Doubts. They come from parents, friends, children, siblings, doctors, co-workers, classmates, bosses, teachers, and strangers.
I get dirty looks when I park in a handicapped space. Doctors have questioned if it was “all in my head.” My sister thinks I exaggerate my problems.
And then there’s the government and insurance companies. I was denied long term disability insurance, but incredibly, I won the appeal. I applied for the disability version of medicaid and was denied. Luckily, I qualified for and received the low income version. I applied for social security disability insurance and was denied. I appealed and was denied again. Now I have a hearing coming up very soon.
I know this is considered standard practice, but it’s not right. They are so concerned about fraud that truly sick people go without the benefits we deserve. There was another article in the paper today about a massive fraud scam. These people are scum. But just because they fraudulently got SSDI, does that mean I should be scrutinized so much harder? There will always be assholes and criminals in this world, but I’m tired of being treated like one just because others exists. I’m tired of so many people assuming I’m not truly sick. They seem to assume I’m guilty of lying to them, of fraud, until I convince them otherwise. The burden is on me to convince them that I’m sick, even as I’m too sick to do so properly.
The system is broken. Anyone who has tried to get through it knows this. And I’m so damn tired of being punished because other people get away with fraud. Don’t punish me for their guilt. I didn’t do it. I’m innocent. And I deserve to be treated as such.
If only others felt the same way.