I think for healthy people, this question only comes up when they don’t have plans, or if they’ve been going out every night and feel that they need a night in. For me, this seems to come up constantly. I’m always weighing how I feel and how much I want to go to something against what I might miss out on in the future if I do go out. Today, the decision is whether or not to go to a Valentine’s Day singles party tonight. Yeah, I know, but it’s not as bad as it sounds. It’s a great group where I’ll know a bunch of people, and I’ve been to their Valentine’s singles party before and it was fun.
I haven’t been doing much lately. Tuesday I didn’t leave the house at all, and just had my sex-friend over for a couple hours. Yesterday I only went out briefly to a chronic illness group for an hour. And today I haven’t left the house at all. So it would be nice to go out.
Then again, I slept horribly last night. I woke up at 3am and only dozed on and off after that. And I have a day full of activity planned for tomorrow. Plus there’s the hassle of getting dressed up and having to put on a happy face. If I knew this event would happen again soon, I’d be happy to stay in and just do this next time, but unfortunately, the next one is a full year away.
Reasons I should go out:
- I’ll see a lot of friends I really like.
- I might meet someone interesting.
- I can practice flirting.
- Maybe someone will flirt with me.
- It would get me out of the house and interacting with people.
- I’m pretty certain I’ll have fun if I go.
Reasons I shouldn’t go out:
- It will take away my remaining spoons, and possibly cause a deficit.
- I might be too worn out to have fun tomorrow, which is a one-time family thing.
- Because of the snow (and the resulting parking shortage) I can’t drive, so I’d have to risk taking the germ-infested subway.
- I’ll have to either shake hands with a lot of people, or else come up with a reason not to shake hands that doesn’t drive away the flirtations.
- I’ll have to answer the question “What do you do?” over and over and over and over. I hate that question.
- I’m not ready to date yet.
I’m leaning towards staying home, but I just can’t decide. I keep thinking about all the friends who will be there tonight, so even if I don’t meet or flirt with anyway, I know I’d have friends with them. What holds me back is tomorrow. I must have energy for tomorrow. An elderly relative is in town and this could be the last time I see him, since I can’t travel and he might not be able to either after this. If I knew I could do both it would be different. But since I can’t be sure….
What would you do?
Chronic Rants 
I ended up staying in, and I think that was the right choice for that night. Another night I may go out, but that night I was better off not.
I have these thoughts every time something social comes up. I usually just stay home, unless the weather is really good and unless I can be home before 12 lol