Missing opportunities because of illness

It isn’t just any job, it’s THE job.  I’ve wanted this job for years.

I used to work in a certain position in a nonprofit.  Then I quit my job and started volunteering at a nonprofit while I looked for new work.  I already had some friends who worked there, and I quickly became friends with a lot of the rest of the staff.  I loved going there, I loved the people, I admired the work they did.  I still volunteer there from time to time when I feel up to it.  They are all fantastic.  I wanted to work there, but there was just the one position that I wanted, and it was filled.  I got the impression the guy might leave, and I was hopeful, but I think something happened to change his mind, and he stayed.  I was so disappointed.  I could have done a fantastic job there.  That was years ago.

Today I found out that he just gave his notice!

I still want that job.  The people are still amazing, the location is still fun, the benefits are still unbelievable.  I don’t know the salary, but I have reason to suspect that it’s in a reasonable range.  If I was able to work, I’d apply tonight.  If I was working someplace else, unless it was a really unbelievable place, I’d apply tonight.  If there was any way at all…. but there isn’t.  My health is lousy.  I couldn’t even work part time right now, never mind full time.

I’ve missed out on a lot of things because of my lousy health.  There have been dates and friendships and romantic relationships and hobbies and family events and social gatherings and career opportunities and so many other things that I’ve missed out on.  Really, this is just one more.  But this hurts.  This is THE job, and I can’t even apply.

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