I never liked roller coasters and I’m ready to get off this one right now. Really. No joking here.
I won’t say that I was ok with my illness fluctuations when they occurred over weeks or months, but at least I learned to handle them. Having fluctuations every day, or even every hour, though, is so much more difficult. Let’s take the last few days, for example.
Friday morning I felt blah, but I pushed myself to keep my lunch plans with a friend. That cheered me up, and the fresh air helped a lot, and I felt fantastic for several hours. By the time I got home I was completely exhausted. I crashed on the couch for the night, watching tv and knitting. So, that was a down-up-down-down day.
I felt lousy on Saturday, then felt worse, then felt much better for a while. I pushed myself to go out. Unfortunately, I wore myself out and spent the evening and night watching two different movies and knitting. So that would be down-down-up-down-down. Lovely.
Today was bad, but I was able to pick myself up for a while and keep plans with friends, then I felt worse, then better, then worse, then better. So…. down-up-up-down-up-down-up.
How is anyone supposed to adjust that quickly? Making plans with friends is getting harder and harder. I had to leave a movie tonight partway through to rush to the bathroom. This was worse because I was on a date! I still haven’t figured out how to bring all of this up with him, but that’s a topic for a different post. In the meantime, I’m just trying to figure out how to not constantly cancel on people. Blah.
While I’m not working, I need to be busy every day so that I don’t get too lonely and/or depressed. But it’s hard to make plans when I seem to feel lousy at some point every day, and most days I have a period of exhaustion where I don’t want to move at all. Last night I didn’t even feel up to typing a quick blog post!
I didn’t like roller coasters as a kid at the amusement park and I don’t like them now. I can’t wait to get off this one.
If any of this sounds familiar, if you can relate, please share it on Facebook, Twitter, etc. This blog is new, and it would be great to share it.
And if you’d like to get these posts emailed to you for free, simply click the “Sign me up!” button in the top right corner.