A medical leave of absence is work. It’s hard mentally, physically, and emotionally. I’m sure that some people who ask about my time off as if it was a vacation mean well. They probably just don’t know how else to ask. They feel awkward asking directly about my health. But then others really do seem to think that it’s a vacation. They seem to think I’m having a ton of fun, enjoying myself, living it up. I’m so sick of those people. I just want them to live in my body for a day or two, just so they’ll understand. This is no vacation. This is hell. I would love for it to end. I hate my job, but I would gladly go back if it meant I was feeling better. But it doesn’t work that way. I feel like crap. When I find myself watching tv in the middle of the day, I start getting depressed. I wish I could go out more and do more. I wish this was fun. But it’s just not. No, this is definitely not a vacation.
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