I promise you, it’s no vacation

A medical leave of absence is work.  It’s hard mentally, physically, and emotionally.  I’m sure that some people who ask about my time off as if it was a vacation mean well.  They probably just don’t know how else to ask.  They feel awkward asking directly about my health.  But then others really do seem to think that it’s a vacation.  They seem to think I’m having a ton of fun, enjoying myself, living it up.  I’m so sick of those people.  I just want them to live in my body for a day or two, just so they’ll understand.  This is no vacation.  This is hell.  I would love for it to end.  I hate my job, but I would gladly go back if it meant I was feeling better.  But it doesn’t work that way.  I feel like crap.  When I find myself watching tv in the middle of the day, I start getting depressed.  I wish I could go out more and do more.  I wish this was fun.  But it’s just not.  No, this is definitely not a vacation.

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