Limitations are frustrating. I can elaborate and justify and defend, but at the end of the day, this statement is simply true: limitations are frustrating.
I could write a long post right now about the many things I wish I could do but can’t. I could write about the things I used to do but can’t. I could write about the things I thought I’d still be able to do but can’t. And at the end of the post, we’d all be depressed. I’m sure I’ll write that on a different day, but not today.
Today I’m not focusing on the fact that I have been in my apartment all day because I can not currently work full time at my job. It’s true, but I’m not focusing on it. Instead, I’m thinking about how glad I am to have spent all day indoors while it’s been raining outside (and I’m sort of wishing I didn’t have plans to go out in about an hour, since I’ll probably get soaked.) It’s cool out, which is great for my joints and fatigue and nausea, so I’ve kept the heat shut off and the windows cracked open. A couple weeks ago I went apple picking, so today I made another dent in the huge pile of apples by doing some baking. With the oven going, I threw the windows open wide. The rain was loud, the wind brisk, the oven keeping the apartment from getting too cold.
Ok, so I can’t work. I can’t work but I can bake (a skill I didn’t even have a few years ago!) After all the baking, I figured I should take the trash down to the basement (glad I can still do that!) When I returned, my apartment smelled amazing. While I was baking, I suppose I just got used to it. But stepping away made it so obvious: it smells of cinnamon and nutmeg. It smells like autumn in New England should smell. I can’t expend too much energy, but I can bake and read my book and knit a scarf-in-progress and take out the trash. Some days this wouldn’t be enough, but on this rainy Wednesday, it feels just right.
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