The importance of self-care

November 21, 2011

There’s the stuff we do almost every day.  It’s almost habitual after a while.  There’s certain exercises and certain diets and monitoring movements and adjusting for pain.  And then there’s the out-of-the-ordinary stuff that messes up any semblance of a schedule we might have had.

Yesterday I wrote about feeling almost sick.  I did the right things to take care of myself: I got a little fresh air and exercise and spent the rest of the day resting.  I took something to help me sleep and managed to sleep almost 10 hours with only a few interruptions.  These days, that’s fantastic.  Still, I woke up today feeling horrible.  I’m not sick sick.  I don’t have a fever, my stomach is fine, I’m not coughing or sneezing.  My only real symptom is that I feel lousy.  I spent the morning watching tv.  Then I took a nap for 3 hours.  Then I watched more tv.  I was going to read, but I fell asleep before I even found where I’d left off on the page.  Doing dishes and typing on the computer are the most activity I’ve had today.

Now, this all sucks, no doubt.  I wish I felt better.  There are things I was going to do today.  Then again, I’m so glad I was able to do this.  I’m not working right now, so I didn’t have to worry about upsetting a boss or missing project deadlines.  I know that when I really need a day like this to rest I shouldn’t worry about those things.  I know that.  But I still worry about it, and sometimes I push myself to go to work when I shouldn’t.  Of course, that only makes the symptoms much worse.  So yeah, today really wasn’t all that bad.  I lost a day that I could have spent doing other things, but it’s worth it.  Hopefully I’ll feel better in time for Thanksgiving.  And if not, well, there’s only so much that any of us can do about our health, right?

There are some lessons I have learned very well from the illnesses.  Accepting my situation when it means a major disruption to my life is not one I have learned well, and it’s one I have to keep relearning over and over.  Today has been a good reminder; my health is what matters.  Jobs and friends and errands and everything else can and will wait.  It is more important that I take care of myself.  Now, I just have to be sure to remember that next time, too.

If any of this sounds familiar, if you can relate, please share it on Facebook and/or Twitter.  This blog is new, and it would be great to share it.

Leave a Comment » | Decisions, Frustration, Limitations, Symptoms, Unpredictable | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

The “almost” feeling

November 20, 2011

Do you ever get warning symptoms before you get sick?  What about before you get a flare?

For good or bad, having a chronic illness forces us to be much more aware of our bodies than a lot of us would otherwise be.  I’m pretty sure I would have ignored the way I felt first thing this morning, but after years of dealing with these illnesses, I’ve learned that a sore throat isn’t always just a sore throat.  For me, it’s a warning signal.  This is my body’s way of saying that something bad will happen soon.  If I don’t get some sleep in the next day, I’m going to get sick or get a flare or both.  Fun.

Now, on the bright side, getting sick would get me out of some unfortunate holiday obligations this week.  But it would also cause me to miss some fun holiday stuff too.  I guess I better pay the bribe and get some sleep.  If only it was that easy.  I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow, but for some reason I’ve been waking up about 7 hours later, for no good reason.  Still, I can’t risk it, so tonight I’m taking a Benedryl, turning off my cell phone, and getting some sleep.  I hope.  12 or 14 hours should do the trick, based on past experience.

Yep, I’ve got the sore throat and the weakness and some fatigue and I know what it means.  I know what this means now.  The thing is, 10 years ago, I didn’t know what it meant.  And I’m pretty sure that even now I’m missing signs from my body.  Maybe there’s something I could have done yesterday, or maybe there’s more I could do now.  I think that a key part of treatment should be learning how to read our bodies.  Does anyone even teach this?  Maybe a doctor once told me to start paying attention, but I don’t remember it.  Autoimmune diseases can be frustratingly unpredictable.  Even a 12 hour warning is helpful.  I just wish I knew better how to recognize it.  I wish we all did.

 

If any of this sounds familiar, if you can relate, please share it on Facebook and/or Twitter.  This blog is new, and it would be great to share it.

Leave a Comment » | Decisions, Educating, Expectations, Frustration, Limitations, Pain, Rants, Symptoms, Unpredictable | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

Truly *understanding* chronic illness

November 19, 2011

“Why are you taking a leave of absence from work?”

[stunned silence]

“The usual stuff, but it’s gotten worse.”

[confused silence]

___________________________________________

I am shocked at how many times I have had this conversation.  To be honest, even one time would be shocking, but I keep having it over and over again.  A few weeks ago I wrote this post about wearing masks so that people won’t see what I’m going through.  It’s something we all do, and we each do it in our own way.  For me, it means letting people know there’s a problem, but not letting them see how bad it really is.  That seems to be backfiring (as these things always do, even though I pretend they won’t.)

A few close family members and friends understand.  I let them see how bad it was, or they saw through my facades.  A few others understand because they’ve gone through similar things.  But most people just don’t get it.  They know I have some “issues” but figure they’re under control.  I seemed ok, except for occasionally having to cancel plans or not being able to drive too far in a day, and those are minor, right?  So why should I need to take time off from work?  I hate to spoil the illusion, but it’s time.

I keep seeing statistics about how many people live with chronic pain, how many have arthritis, how many have autoimmune diseases. These number make for catchy headlines and memorable soundbites, but where’s the education?  Maybe the problem is that we’re all wearing masks.  We need to make our family and friends understand our illnesses, so that they can make their people understand it, so that maybe society will start to get it.  The ignorance is so frustrating.  Yes, I wear masks, but even when I do show people what’s going on, a few weeks later I seem ok, and they forget all about it.  I need them, we all need them, to understand.

If any of this sounds familiar, if you can relate, please share it on Facebook and/or Twitter.  This blog is new, and it would be great to share it.

2 Comments | Educating, Expectations, Frustration, Isolation, Limitations, Rants, Support, Symptoms, Thoughtfulness | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

Resting vs. Relaxing

November 19, 2011

I’ve been resting a lot lately.  I guess I’ve been resting a lot for a few years now, but it seems like I’ve needed it more in the last year or so.

Since I rest a lot, I want to be “active” whenever I feel up to it.  Now, “active” doesn’t necessarily mean going for a jog or running errands.  Sometimes that means writing this blog or doing the dishes.  Still, it always means doing something, and always doing something can be mentally tiring.

Last night I realized that I’d done all of the most important things on my to do list.  I’d even done my physical therapy (which is more unusual than I’d like to admit.)  I felt like I should do something else, but then it hit me: I should relax! 

Resting is not the same as relaxing.  I wish it were, but it’s just not.  Maybe both would involve watching tv, but the first happens when I feel lousy and I’m just trying to feel a bit better, while the second happens when I already feel ok and just want to feel more relaxed.  Think about it: how often do you watch tv or read a book not because you need to rest physically or mentally, but just because you want to sit back and enjoy the activity?

After a rocky start, my rare foray into relaxation went very well.  I decided to watch a movie, and even though the disc turned out to be scratched and will have to go back to Netflix, I found a great old 1940s movies on my dvr.  I love old movies, so this was a real treat.  I made some popcorn, and spent two great hours snacking, watching a funny movie, and knitting.  Now that’s  how to relax!

Relaxation is an important part of self-care.  How do you relax?  What will you do for yourself this week?

If any of this sounds familiar, if you can relate, please share it on Facebook and/or Twitter.  This blog is new, and it would be great to share it.

Leave a Comment » | Expectations, Raves, Symptoms, Thoughtfulness | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

« Previous Entries
Next Entries »