Why I’m against the way we dispense the birth control pill

July 31, 2013

I was put on “the Pill” the week I turned 18. I wasn’t put on it for birth control purposes, but because my previously-heavy period had gotten so bad that I passed out from the loss of blood. The doctors figured this would fix that problem.

Birth control pills

What it did was mask the problem. Once I was on birth control pills (BCPs), I could no longer have accurate hormone tests run. The specialist thought I had PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) but it would be another 7 years before I found out he was right. In the meantime, I just dutifully took the Pill every day, as instructed, and assumed I wouldn’t get pregnant and that everything was under control. My primary care physician (PCP) du jour always prescribed it.

A friend of mine was suffering from depression for a long time. She tried changing all sorts of things about her life. She got a new job, tried a new diet, saw therapists, but was still depressed. I saw her a few months ago and the transformation was incredible! She was the happy, upbeat person I remembered from so many years ago! She was dealing with some truly horrible circumstances at home, and yet she seemed happier than I had seen her in 10 years. What changed? She went off the Pill. She said the change happened quickly. She’s no longer in therapy. She’s just avoiding birth control pills. Too bad none of her doctors thought to try that. Apparently, it never occurred to any of them.

A friend of mine found out the hard way that because of a medical condition, birth control pills won’t prevent pregnancy for her. She found when she got pregnant!

I now take a half of a BCP every day. I do this not for birth control, but because I need the boost in my estrogen levels. This is how my endocrinologist prescribes it.

Hormones are a tricky thing. Mess them up, and you could be in serious trouble. I know this from experience and from what I’ve witnessed. So why are PCPs prescribing hormones? Why aren’t women being sent to endocrinologists? Now there’s even talk about making BCPs available over the counter, without prescription!

Let me be clear. I am very much FOR giving women better birth control options. I think that making BCPs widely available is a good thing, but it needs to be done intelligently. Women should receive free visits with endocrinologists. Only endos should be allowed to prescribe BCPs. Endos should be well-versed in the possible side-effects of BCPs. When I got horrible mood swings once a month, when I felt horribly depressed and wanted to cry for no reason, my endo knew to take me off the Pill, let my body settle down, then start me on something else. My PCP didn’t know to do that. After women get these free visits, then BCPs should be available at the local pharmacy free of charge. I strongly believe this.

On the other hand, I do not want to see women getting the Pill without seeing a doctor. This is an unpopular view among my very liberal social crowd, but having more experience with medical issues, I am very ready to confidently take this stand. There are just too many ways it could go wrong. There are women for whom BCPs won’t work as effective birth control, and many for whom it can have horrible side effects. We call it “the Pill” and yet there are many different formulas. Should I take an estrogen-based one or a progesterone-based one? I like the idea of only getting my period 4 times per year, but will that one work for me? I could ask the pharmacist, but what will they know? They have no idea what my hormone levels are. No, women need to see endocrinologists who know which tests to run, how to interpret them, which medications to prescribe, and how to handle the side effects.

Our bodies are too important to just hope that it all works out.

And by the way, if providing free birth control is so important, where are the free condoms? I don’t want to get pregnant, but BCPs won’t work for me, so I need something else (assuming I’m even fertile, but that’s a topic for another day.) Plus, I don’t want to get STIs, either! Condoms should be distributed at doctors’ offices and at pharmacies, free of charge. Those things are expensive! Let’s make it easier for everyone to avoid unwanted pregnancies and STIs.

7 Comments | Educating, Frustration, Healthcare, Medication, Politics, Rants, Relationships: Family & Friends & Dating & Sex, Symptoms | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

A day to celebrate! DOMA is dead!

June 26, 2013

Obviously I was upset yesterday. And sure, I should probably write about the pain flare I had last night while I was sleeping. But I just can’t. Today is too great a day to dwell on anything bad!

For those who don’t know. The U.S. Supreme Court ruled today that DOMA is unconstitutional, and it also ruled that Prop 8 had no standing. In English, the Defense of Marriage Act is dead, which means the federal government will now recognize same-sex marriages performed in the states where they are legal. The Proposition 8 ruling means that same-sex marriage is now legal in CA.

When I was younger, I just assumed that if I grew up and fell in love with a man then I’d get married, and if I fell in love with a woman we’d live together. That was it. Then in 2004, same-sex marriages started taking place in my home state of Massachusetts and everything changed. Suddenly, I could marry a woman! For some people this had an immediate affect. Since I was single, I wasn’t about to get married, but it still changed my attitude and also others’ perceptions of me. After all, if we’re equal enough to get married, maybe we’re just plain equal.

Even with more and more states recognizing same-sex marriages, the federal government did not. This affected taxes, inheritances, hospital visitation rights, health insurance, immigration, and so many other issues. I felt the inequality myself. I saw it affecting my married friends.

Today that changed. After days, months, years of waiting, we finally had the answer: the Supreme Court ruled that the federal government must recognize all marriages equally, just like it had before DOMA was created. I felt the initial excitement: WE WON! And then it started to sink in. I started to feel it. We won equality. We won rights. We were going to be treated the same as everyone else. I watched my Facebook and Twitter feeds fill up with the excitement. I saw the occasional detractor and dismissed them entirely. They’re falling behind the times. I have no doubt that one day soon, same-sex marriage will be legal throughout the country. The dominoes are falling. The objectors are realizing they have no valid points. The general public is realizing that if they’re straight, this really doesn’t affect them directly at all. And soon this will just be another embarrassing part of history.

I usually make an effort to write only about chronic illness-related issues but, well, this is my blog so I can write whatever the hell I want, right? And today I really can’t write about anything else. It’s too great a day.

7 Comments | Educating, Expectations, Milestones, Politics, Raves, Relationships: Family & Friends & Dating & Sex | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

An experiment in dating

June 22, 2013

Over a year ago, I decided to stop dating. It was just too difficult to makes dates for things I could do and then not have to cancel. I couldn’t go hiking or take a walk on a hot day, and even eating out was difficult because of my food allergies. So often I didn’t feel well enough, so I canceled. It was just too hard, so I decided to stop for a while.

A few weeks ago I felt like I really wanted to date again. I want to be in a relationship, and that’s really unlikely to happen if I’m not dating. This time around I knew I had to disclose my health problems at the start, and if the person couldn’t handle it, better that I know that right away. That doesn’t make dating easy, but it makes it easier. I figured I’d give it a try the next time there was an opportunity. And this week there was an opportunity.

A long time ago I had exchanged emails with someone I met on a personal finance web site. This week he contacted me and asked if I wanted to go out. I took a breath and said yes. I told him I wouldn’t know if I was free today until the day before, and he was ok with setting things up then. Since I felt ok yesterday, I made a date for today, and planned something simple. It was tiring, but I did it. During the date, I mentioned my health stuff. I didn’t get into the details, of course, but I said that I couldn’t work because of my health and I mentioned my biggest symptoms. And he seemed ok with it.

I left the date feeling really good about my disclosure. Maybe he was ok with it, maybe he wasn’t, but he didn’t run away screaming. That had to be a good sign, right?

Then a little while later I got a text from him; he wants to see me again!

There won’t be another date because I’m not interested in dating him. But how wonderful that the first time I disclosed my health issues on a first date, he still wanted to see me again! Yay! I know it probably won’t always go that well, but it’s good to know that it can. Maybe I really will meet someone right for me one day. The only way I’ll know is by letting them see who I really am. Today was a good start in that direction.

2 Comments | Decisions, Expectations, Milestones, Raves, Relationships: Family & Friends & Dating & Sex | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

A true friend understands

June 17, 2013

As I’ve said many times before, my sister and I don’t get along. Yesterday was another good example of why I don’t like to be around her.

My mother made a big dinner for Father’s Day. After dinner, I was sitting in the kitchen talking to my mom while she put food away. My sister was washing dishes, and suddenly asked me to help dry. Now, while we’d been sitting around earlier, I had made several long trips to the bathroom. I was pale. My mother commented later about how bad I looked. My eyes were puffy and half closed. While the rest of the family had talked animatedly in the living room before dinner, I had been laying there half asleep, barely saying a word. So it was pretty obvious I wasn’t feeling well. And yet she was asking me to dry dishes. I didn’t want to start a fight, so I just stood up and dried a couple of dishes. I did it slowly, careful not to drop anything, careful not to fall when I turned to put each one down. And after a few, so there just a little space in the dish rack, we all went into the dining room for dessert. I figured it was good enough. It was more than I should have done.

After dessert I didn’t even bother going to the kitchen. My dad and I sat at the table chatting – I figured he shouldn’t be abandoned while my brother-in-law was taking their dog outside for a potty break. My mother and sister were cleaning up in the kitchen. I heard my mother thank my sister for her help as my sister walked into the dining room, where I sat with my dad. My sister responded, “Well I couldn’t let you do it all by yourself.” Then she turned and looked right at me. I would have given her the finger, but again, I didn’t want to start a fight in front of my parents.

Now let’s compare that to the day before. A friend was visiting from out of town. I wanted to see her and her three kids, but I didn’t feel up to going to her parents’ house where she was staying, 1/2 hour away from me. So she agreed to make the drive up to my neighborhood. There’s a great playground within walking distance of my place but I didn’t feel up to walking, so she drove to pick me up. She understood that I couldn’t help much with the kids, and didn’t mind that I sat on a bench in the shade while she chased them. She was just happy for our time together. She even gave me a birthday gift. I pointed out that I didn’t expect anything – after all, I hadn’t given her anything this year. I can’t afford it thanks to the insurance bullshit. She said that even though I couldn’t afford to give gifts, it was still my birthday and she wanted to give me something. And you know what she gave me? A big gift bag full of gluten-free goodies! She gave me several kinds of pasta, flour, cake mix, pancake mix, pretzels, and cookies – all gluten-free! She knows how hard it is for me to find some of these things, and she gave me exactly what she knew I’d want and enjoy. And as she gave it to me, she offered to exchange anything I couldn’t eat, since she wasn’t sure exactly what my other food restrictions were. Talk about someone who understands!

Sure, my sister can be a bitch. Sure, she didn’t wish me a happy birthday. But I’m choosing instead to focus on the excellent people in my life who are wonderful, understanding, and supportive. Most of us have lost people due to our illnesses, but some of us have been lucky enough to find true friends will always be there for us.

As a side note, I want to remind myself and you that we contribute to these friendships too. Maybe I can’t babysit for my friends or cook for them when they’re ill. They offer to get me groceries and pick up prescriptions. But I lend an ear and am very supportive. I have helped them prepare for job interviews, research insurance for a kid’s illness, and just listened to them complain about jobs and families. Our illnesses don’t prevent us from being good friends. Some people don’t get that, so it’s up to us to focus on the ones who do.

6 Comments | Expectations, Isolation, Kindness, Raves, Relationships: Family & Friends & Dating & Sex, Support, Thoughtfulness | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

« Previous Entries
Next Entries »