How many ways can you define nausea?

April 5, 2012

I’m guessing it’s like morning sickness, but without the fetus.

I’m at that age, in my thirties, where many of my friends have been having children lately.  I’m close with many of them, which means I hear a lot about pregnancy symptoms and, later, child-rearing experiences.  A couple of them were telling me during their pregnancies about the morning sickness they were dealing with, which can last all day.  It sounded an awful lot like the nausea I get, but of course, for me there’s no pregnancy.  Which means it’s not going to end any time soon.

We all know how hard it can be to describe pain.  It’s hard to describe nausea, too.  The morning sickness comparison is probably accurate, but since I’ve never been pregnant, I just don’t know.  I need some other way to define it.  I was trying to explain to my doctor today how there’s the low-grade nausea I feel just about every single day.  Then there’s the worse nausea that makes me feel completely miserable.  And then there’s the level where I start thinking about dying.  Luckily that level never lasts for more than a few hours, but it’s pretty bad.  But how do I explain the actual feeling?

There’s no good answer right now.  There’s also no treatment that we’ve found.  But I’m working with a nutritionist and I’m hoping that, in time, we can lessen the nausea.  If we can’t do that, then I’d love to at least lessen some of my other GI symptoms so that I might be able to take some of the anti-nausea drugs.  Ah, that would be heavenly.  Oh wait, how should I define “heavenly”?

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If you can relate to this, please pass it along and share the camaraderie!  Thanks!

2 Comments | Educating, Frustration, Limitations, Pain, Rants, Symptoms | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

Ready to be done

April 4, 2012

Ok, I’m done with these illnesses.  I’m ready to move on.  I’ve had it.

It takes a lot to make me feel like I’ve reached my limit.  And then I continue some more.  I’m stubborn and I don’t give in easily, even when I should.  That’s why I stayed at a bad job longer than I should have.  It’s why I stayed in a bad apartment situation longer than I should have.  It’s why I tried to make things work in a romantic relationship longer than I should have.  Ditto for a family relationship.  And hell, I didn’t even give up on my crappy car when I should have (but at least I didn’t go too long on that one.)

The point is, I keep fighting.  I keep fighting, that is, until I just can’t take it anymore.  Then I quit the job, moved to a better apartment,
gave up on the ex, stopped talking to the relative, and sold the car.  Those all make sense, right?

But what can I do now?  I’m feeling very done with all of the health crap.  I’ve done this for 20 years and I’ve had it.  I’m ready to move on to the next phase, but there is no next phase to move on to!  Or at least, there isn’t one that I have any control over.

We all get frustrated, and I know that for me this will pass.  Last night was a bad night of pain, nausea, pepto, movies, inability to sleep, and more pepto.  After a day or two of feeling ok, I’ll be less frustrated.  Then I’ll have a flare or something, and the frustration will return.  I just wish there was something I could do about it.  I wish I could walk away from this health crap like I walked away from that job.  Wouldn’t that be nice?

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If you can relate to this, please pass it along and share the camaraderie!  Thanks!

Leave a Comment » | Expectations, Frustration, Limitations, Rants, Symptoms, Unpredictable | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

Physical therapy: 8 out of 9!

April 1, 2012

There’s really nothing wrong with my physical therapy exercises.  They’re a bit inconvenient.  None are painful.  Some are boring.  Most involve effort I just don’t want to expend.  Still, even when I have nothing else pressing to do, for some reason I try to avoid PT.  I’m sure there’s some great psychological reason for this, but I’ll ignore it for now.  The point is, I suck at doing my exercises.

I stopped doing my exercises a few months ago when I was feeling especially fatigued.  I know this was legitimate, but it still meant that I suffered a backslide and I now have to make up for it.  I am attending PT again, and am supposed to do my exercises at home.  I decided that for me, the best motivation was to track it.  I might feel a little bad if I thought I’d missed a day or two recently, but I’d feel really guilty if I knew I’d missed 2 days out of the last 4.  So I went online and printed out a little calendar.  I bought some start stickers and I give myself a star every day that I do my exercises.  This is working great!  I felt much more guilt today than I normally would, since I knew I’d missed Friday, so I did the exercises at 9pm.  Normally I’d have decided it was too late to bother by that point, but I did them!

I should have started tracking a few weeks ago, but better late than never, right?  So in the last 9 days of tracking, I’ve done my exercises 8 times!  2 of those times were at the physical therapist’s office with her, but still, I did the exercises 8 out of 9 days!!

This may not seem huge to some people, but I’m guessing many others understand.  I’m going to do my best to keep it up, because I know these exercises really will help.  It’s time to aim for the stars!

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If you can relate to this, please pass it along and share the camaraderie!  Thanks!

2 Comments | Expectations, Limitations, Milestones, Raves, Symptoms | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

Being treated like a child

March 30, 2012

“Remember, you don’t have to bring anything to the brunch.  No food, no flowers, just save your money and take care of yourself.”

I know my mother means well.  Her instinct is to take care of me.  But I’m getting sick of it.  And it’s not just her.

I appreciate that people want to help.  I really do.  It’s sweet.  But I’m an adult, and if I say that I want to bring something to a family brunch, then why stop me?  Everyone else is bringing something.  If I didn’t feel up to it then I wouldn’t offer, but if I want to contribute, why stop me?  A few years ago this made sense – my cooking was atrocious.  But now I can cook and I’ve been bringing food to potlucks for many years.  And hell, I can at least put together a fruit salad!  Either way, I can make a contribution.

What bothers me most, I suppose, is that people don’t trust my judgement.  I say I can do something, and they still want to protect me. It’s nice when people want to help, but it’s demeaning when they go too far.

So tomorrow I will have a little chat with my mother and I’ll try to explain this.  I will point out that she isn’t trying to stop my younger sister from bringing food, so why try to stop me?  I’m capable of it, so it’s my choice.  I just hope she understands and can fight her motherly instinct.

After all, I’m not a child anymore.

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If you can relate to this, please pass it along and share the camaraderie!  Thanks!

Leave a Comment » | Decisions, Educating, Expectations, Frustration, Insensitive, Intrusions, Limitations, Rants, Thoughtfulness | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

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