“Remember, you don’t have to bring anything to the brunch. No food, no flowers, just save your money and take care of yourself.”
I know my mother means well. Her instinct is to take care of me. But I’m getting sick of it. And it’s not just her.
I appreciate that people want to help. I really do. It’s sweet. But I’m an adult, and if I say that I want to bring something to a family brunch, then why stop me? Everyone else is bringing something. If I didn’t feel up to it then I wouldn’t offer, but if I want to contribute, why stop me? A few years ago this made sense – my cooking was atrocious. But now I can cook and I’ve been bringing food to potlucks for many years. And hell, I can at least put together a fruit salad! Either way, I can make a contribution.
What bothers me most, I suppose, is that people don’t trust my judgement. I say I can do something, and they still want to protect me. It’s nice when people want to help, but it’s demeaning when they go too far.
So tomorrow I will have a little chat with my mother and I’ll try to explain this. I will point out that she isn’t trying to stop my younger sister from bringing food, so why try to stop me? I’m capable of it, so it’s my choice. I just hope she understands and can fight her motherly instinct.
After all, I’m not a child anymore.
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Chronic Rants 