Ready to be done

Ok, I’m done with these illnesses.  I’m ready to move on.  I’ve had it.

It takes a lot to make me feel like I’ve reached my limit.  And then I continue some more.  I’m stubborn and I don’t give in easily, even when I should.  That’s why I stayed at a bad job longer than I should have.  It’s why I stayed in a bad apartment situation longer than I should have.  It’s why I tried to make things work in a romantic relationship longer than I should have.  Ditto for a family relationship.  And hell, I didn’t even give up on my crappy car when I should have (but at least I didn’t go too long on that one.)

The point is, I keep fighting.  I keep fighting, that is, until I just can’t take it anymore.  Then I quit the job, moved to a better apartment,
gave up on the ex, stopped talking to the relative, and sold the car.  Those all make sense, right?

But what can I do now?  I’m feeling very done with all of the health crap.  I’ve done this for 20 years and I’ve had it.  I’m ready to move on to the next phase, but there is no next phase to move on to!  Or at least, there isn’t one that I have any control over.

We all get frustrated, and I know that for me this will pass.  Last night was a bad night of pain, nausea, pepto, movies, inability to sleep, and more pepto.  After a day or two of feeling ok, I’ll be less frustrated.  Then I’ll have a flare or something, and the frustration will return.  I just wish there was something I could do about it.  I wish I could walk away from this health crap like I walked away from that job.  Wouldn’t that be nice?


If you can relate to this, please pass it along and share the camaraderie!  Thanks!

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