Cheating my way through dinner

April 18, 2012

I had a fantastic plan for last night’s dinner.  It was delicious and healthy and used up all of the starting-to-get-old veggies in the fridge.  But I was exhausted last night, so I made an omelet instead.  I hate omelets.

My top priority, in meals and most other things, is my health.  I’m also concerned about money, especially these days, since I don’t know when I’ll be able to go back to work, and there’s still no word on whether or not my long term disability claim will be approved by the insurance company.  Put those together, and it means I’m not eating out.  I live near a lot of restaurants, but take-out is a big no-no for both my health and my wallet.  So instead, I cook.

Cooking sounds like a great idea, right?  It’s healthy and cheap (or can be, depending on how you shop.)  The problem is, it takes energy, and since I live alone, I have to do all the cooking.  That’s why last night’s dinner ended up being an omelet.  That’s why I planned the healthy dinner again for tonight, but again it didn’t happen.

Those veggies in the fridge need to be eaten, but cutting them up just wasn’t going to happen today.  I still made the rice, but I skipped the fresh veggies and instead nuked some frozen ones.  Forget garlic and onion; that’s too much chopping and garlic powder works just fine.  Ok, it’s not as good, but it works!  I use dry beans now instead of canned (to avoid BPA and whatnot) and I cook them in large amounts and freeze them in individually portioned bags.  This works great, but when I thawed them, they didn’t have a ton of great flavor.  Enter garlic powder.  And throw them in a pan for a minute with some olive oil.  Add the veggies.  Splash in the gluten-free soy sauce.  And some rice.  Now let’s see: starch, protein, lots of veggies.  Good enough for me!

Luckily my standards aren’t too high.  I don’t need a 5 course meal.  I don’t need anything fancy.  I don’t even need anything that tastes amazing, just something that doesn’t taste bad.  And with minimal effort and very little energy expenditure, I made dinner!

Those veggies will just have to wait until tomorrow.  Tonight, I feasted on the easy version.  A toast to all of the dinner cheats out there!

If you have a great “easy” version of a meal that you want to share, please add it in the comments!  We can all help each other out with new ideas.

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Leave a Comment » | Educating, Expectations, Frustration, Isolation, Limitations, Rants, Symptoms, Unpredictable | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

How many ways can you define nausea?

April 5, 2012

I’m guessing it’s like morning sickness, but without the fetus.

I’m at that age, in my thirties, where many of my friends have been having children lately.  I’m close with many of them, which means I hear a lot about pregnancy symptoms and, later, child-rearing experiences.  A couple of them were telling me during their pregnancies about the morning sickness they were dealing with, which can last all day.  It sounded an awful lot like the nausea I get, but of course, for me there’s no pregnancy.  Which means it’s not going to end any time soon.

We all know how hard it can be to describe pain.  It’s hard to describe nausea, too.  The morning sickness comparison is probably accurate, but since I’ve never been pregnant, I just don’t know.  I need some other way to define it.  I was trying to explain to my doctor today how there’s the low-grade nausea I feel just about every single day.  Then there’s the worse nausea that makes me feel completely miserable.  And then there’s the level where I start thinking about dying.  Luckily that level never lasts for more than a few hours, but it’s pretty bad.  But how do I explain the actual feeling?

There’s no good answer right now.  There’s also no treatment that we’ve found.  But I’m working with a nutritionist and I’m hoping that, in time, we can lessen the nausea.  If we can’t do that, then I’d love to at least lessen some of my other GI symptoms so that I might be able to take some of the anti-nausea drugs.  Ah, that would be heavenly.  Oh wait, how should I define “heavenly”?

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2 Comments | Educating, Frustration, Limitations, Pain, Rants, Symptoms | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

Ready to be done

April 4, 2012

Ok, I’m done with these illnesses.  I’m ready to move on.  I’ve had it.

It takes a lot to make me feel like I’ve reached my limit.  And then I continue some more.  I’m stubborn and I don’t give in easily, even when I should.  That’s why I stayed at a bad job longer than I should have.  It’s why I stayed in a bad apartment situation longer than I should have.  It’s why I tried to make things work in a romantic relationship longer than I should have.  Ditto for a family relationship.  And hell, I didn’t even give up on my crappy car when I should have (but at least I didn’t go too long on that one.)

The point is, I keep fighting.  I keep fighting, that is, until I just can’t take it anymore.  Then I quit the job, moved to a better apartment,
gave up on the ex, stopped talking to the relative, and sold the car.  Those all make sense, right?

But what can I do now?  I’m feeling very done with all of the health crap.  I’ve done this for 20 years and I’ve had it.  I’m ready to move on to the next phase, but there is no next phase to move on to!  Or at least, there isn’t one that I have any control over.

We all get frustrated, and I know that for me this will pass.  Last night was a bad night of pain, nausea, pepto, movies, inability to sleep, and more pepto.  After a day or two of feeling ok, I’ll be less frustrated.  Then I’ll have a flare or something, and the frustration will return.  I just wish there was something I could do about it.  I wish I could walk away from this health crap like I walked away from that job.  Wouldn’t that be nice?

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Leave a Comment » | Expectations, Frustration, Limitations, Rants, Symptoms, Unpredictable | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

Being treated like a child

March 30, 2012

“Remember, you don’t have to bring anything to the brunch.  No food, no flowers, just save your money and take care of yourself.”

I know my mother means well.  Her instinct is to take care of me.  But I’m getting sick of it.  And it’s not just her.

I appreciate that people want to help.  I really do.  It’s sweet.  But I’m an adult, and if I say that I want to bring something to a family brunch, then why stop me?  Everyone else is bringing something.  If I didn’t feel up to it then I wouldn’t offer, but if I want to contribute, why stop me?  A few years ago this made sense – my cooking was atrocious.  But now I can cook and I’ve been bringing food to potlucks for many years.  And hell, I can at least put together a fruit salad!  Either way, I can make a contribution.

What bothers me most, I suppose, is that people don’t trust my judgement.  I say I can do something, and they still want to protect me. It’s nice when people want to help, but it’s demeaning when they go too far.

So tomorrow I will have a little chat with my mother and I’ll try to explain this.  I will point out that she isn’t trying to stop my younger sister from bringing food, so why try to stop me?  I’m capable of it, so it’s my choice.  I just hope she understands and can fight her motherly instinct.

After all, I’m not a child anymore.

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If you can relate to this, please pass it along and share the camaraderie!  Thanks!

Leave a Comment » | Decisions, Educating, Expectations, Frustration, Insensitive, Intrusions, Limitations, Rants, Thoughtfulness | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

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