Fixing what I put in my body

April 22, 2012

For many years I had to choke down whatever I made for dinner.  It’s not that I was a bad cook, it’s just that… well ok, I was a bad cook.  I was the pathetic family member who always brought flowers as my contribution to the Thanksgiving meal.  It was not good.

A few years ago I quit a job where I was unhappy and I decided to wait for a while before I looked for work.  I had enough money saved up and I was feeling very burnt out.  It ended up being a fantastic time.  I set a few reasonable goals for myself for my unemployment.  I didn’t want to try to do too many things, so I kept it simple.  One thing was to learn to cook.  I had no grand illusions that I’d become a master chef; I just wanted to make food that I wouldn’t be embarrassed to serve to guests, and most importantly, that I wouldn’t mind eating myself.  And I succeeded!  The meals I make aren’t fancy, but they get the job done.

Since taking a leave of absence last fall, I’ve been doing a lot of reading about food.  I’ve learned more about “real” food versus “imitation” food (like the difference between the bread you make yourself at home and the bread you buy in the grocery store – have you ever read that ingredient list?)  I’ve also learned about various chemicals and other unnatural ingredients in food.  Since then, I’ve been trying to eat more “real” food.  I’ve cut down on chicken and fish (I’d already eliminated red meat, and I never ate pork.)  I switched from canned beans to dry beans.  When I do eat chicken, it’s as antibiotic-free as possible.  I eat a lot more vegetables.  I eat very few processed foods (and I’m trying to get those out of my diet altogether.)  I figure if I’m going to see doctors and take various medications, I should make sure my diet isn’t ruining all my hard work!

Putting those two things together, I’m actually eating pretty decently now!  I can’t imagine how I would have handled my new gluten-free diet if I hadn’t learned to cook.  And I feel better when I eat healthier, “real” foods.  None of this is easy.  I won’t pretend I wouldn’t love to have a frozen dinner occasionally; but then, that’s why I don’t keep that stuff in the house.  I won’t pretend my willpower is that good.  If it was here, I’d eat it.  Still, I’m going to try to focus instead on my big accomplishments: cooking tasty, healthy meals.  When I didn’t feel well the other day, I was able to put together something easy and healthy.  Today I felt decent, so I made the pretty quinoa and bean dish in the picture.  It wasn’t all that hard, but I’m sure I would have messed it up a few years ago.  It took a lot of practice and effort, but today I was able to make this dish for the first time and have a light, healthy, filling meal.

So to all of you who are working on your diets, I offer you my encouragement.  It can be a tough road, but it’s very worthwhile.  If you have a setback, just accept it and then move forward again.  It’s completely worth it.  Now I bring actual dishes to the Thanksgiving meal (and my family is all still incredibly impressed, even now.)  If I can learn to cook, you can too!

~~~~~~~~~~

If you can relate to this, please pass it along and share the camaraderie!  Let’s build the community!

3 Comments | Educating, Limitations, Medication, Raves | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

Making medical decisions by coin toss

April 20, 2012

Doctors no longer seem to be all-knowing gods to many of us.

My grandparents always did just what the doctor told them to do.  They trusted their doctor to be honest, knowledgeable, and infallible.

Fast forward many decades and things have changed.  A lot.  For one thing, there are the studies that suggest doctors lie to their patients.  They apparently do this to protect their patients, to save their feelings, but it doesn’t help with the trust thing.  Doctors are now overworked and dealing with lawsuits, insurance, and budget cuts.  In other words, they’re human.  The mystique is gone.  Even more, we have the internet now and can do a lot of our own research.  This helps us to realize that, again, our doctors are human.  They don’t know everything.

Now, I do think that a lot of my doctors are very knowledgeable and I trust them.  That, after all, is why I continue to see them.  However, I still find it difficult when I need to make a decision, and I have no one to help me make it.  I talk to my parents for advice, but I’m getting tired of that; I’m over 30, for crying out loud!  I’m not in a relationship, so I can’t turn there.  And anyway, these all just other laypeople (though my parents are very smart and knowledgeable.)  I can talk to my doctors, of course, but they won’t tell me what to do.  Sometimes they strongly hint at their preferred course.  Sometimes they say it outright.  But many times they don’t know what the right thing to do is.  Damn, they really are human.

I am now facing a small dilemma.  Should I continue my gluten-free diet, with its good effects but also possible negative ones?  Should I quit the diet and see if the negative effects go away?  But then the good effects might go too.  Should I try an over-the-counter med to see if that helps the symptoms?  But what if my body is still adjusting to the new diet?  It could be that I improve from the diet, but if I take the meds, I won’t know which is helping.  Or I can adjust my thyroid med dosage.  I’ve already filled the prescription.  This won’t help the nausea, of course, but it could help the fatigue.  But what if the diet just needs more time to work, and adjusting the thyroid med covers that up?  And I could have negative effects from changing the med dosage, too.  And these are just my top choices – there are even more options to consider!

It would be so easy to have someone tell me what to do.  It would remove this pressure that’s sitting on my shoulders.  But I have to admit, I’m glad when my doctors admit they don’t have the answer; it’s better than pretending otherwise.  Besides, I’m sure I’ll figure it all out eventually.

Does anyone have a coin I can flip?

~~~~~~~~~~

If you can relate to this, please pass it along and share the camaraderie!  Let’s build the community!

2 Comments | Decisions, Educating, Expectations, Frustration, Isolation, Limitations, Medication, Rants, Support, Symptoms | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

Cheating my way through dinner

April 18, 2012

I had a fantastic plan for last night’s dinner.  It was delicious and healthy and used up all of the starting-to-get-old veggies in the fridge.  But I was exhausted last night, so I made an omelet instead.  I hate omelets.

My top priority, in meals and most other things, is my health.  I’m also concerned about money, especially these days, since I don’t know when I’ll be able to go back to work, and there’s still no word on whether or not my long term disability claim will be approved by the insurance company.  Put those together, and it means I’m not eating out.  I live near a lot of restaurants, but take-out is a big no-no for both my health and my wallet.  So instead, I cook.

Cooking sounds like a great idea, right?  It’s healthy and cheap (or can be, depending on how you shop.)  The problem is, it takes energy, and since I live alone, I have to do all the cooking.  That’s why last night’s dinner ended up being an omelet.  That’s why I planned the healthy dinner again for tonight, but again it didn’t happen.

Those veggies in the fridge need to be eaten, but cutting them up just wasn’t going to happen today.  I still made the rice, but I skipped the fresh veggies and instead nuked some frozen ones.  Forget garlic and onion; that’s too much chopping and garlic powder works just fine.  Ok, it’s not as good, but it works!  I use dry beans now instead of canned (to avoid BPA and whatnot) and I cook them in large amounts and freeze them in individually portioned bags.  This works great, but when I thawed them, they didn’t have a ton of great flavor.  Enter garlic powder.  And throw them in a pan for a minute with some olive oil.  Add the veggies.  Splash in the gluten-free soy sauce.  And some rice.  Now let’s see: starch, protein, lots of veggies.  Good enough for me!

Luckily my standards aren’t too high.  I don’t need a 5 course meal.  I don’t need anything fancy.  I don’t even need anything that tastes amazing, just something that doesn’t taste bad.  And with minimal effort and very little energy expenditure, I made dinner!

Those veggies will just have to wait until tomorrow.  Tonight, I feasted on the easy version.  A toast to all of the dinner cheats out there!

If you have a great “easy” version of a meal that you want to share, please add it in the comments!  We can all help each other out with new ideas.

~~~~~~~~~~

If you can relate to this, please pass it along and share the camaraderie!  Let’s build the community!

Leave a Comment » | Educating, Expectations, Frustration, Isolation, Limitations, Rants, Symptoms, Unpredictable | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

Sometimes “fate” intervenes

April 17, 2012

I wonder sometimes about timing.  Maybe if I had sat in the next subway car over that day I’d have run into a friend.  Maybe if I hadn’t been running late the other night I would have met a new business contact.  I don’t believe in fate.  I don’t think there’s some force controlling things.  But I do think that sometimes timing is everything.

After this weekend’s great walks, I decided to keep up the momentum, at least to some degree.  Ok, I won’t be walking 3 miles every day, but I know I need to do more than what I was doing before the trip.  So today I promised myself I’d take a long-ish walk.  A mile seemed like a reasonable goal.  But it was too hot.  So I ate some ice cream.  Still too hot.  I sat in front of a fan and watched tv for a while.  Yup, still too hot.  I ate dinner.  Ok, it had cooled off enough, time to get off my ass and walk!

I debated washing the dinner dishes, then decided to let them wait.  I don’t usually do that, but I wanted to get out before it got dark.  I could have changed my clothes or checked an email, but instead I rushed to leave so that I would be sure to take the walk.  What if I had delayed leaving for any reason?  On the walk, I slowed down to chat with a nice guy with a cute dog.  I’m a sucker for a cute dog.  What if I hadn’t slowed down?  I finished the big loop and ended up back at my building.  I could have stopped, but I pushed myself to also do the smaller loop that I had already planned to do.  What if I had skipped that?  At the far end of the loop, before turning back towards home, I decided to push myself and do a bit more.  I started walking a longer route home.  What if I had turned back when I planned?  But I didn’t.

And that’s how I turned a corner and saw a blind woman in the road.  It was a relatively quiet one way street, and the car had stopped and was waiting patiently.  The woman was in the middle of the wide street and she turned left, moved her cane, then turned right, moved the cane some more, then turned left again.  A guy across the street was watching this, clearly not sure what to do.  How many of us have been in the same position?  I’m guessing most of us have been on the receiving end of this internal debate: is it better to risk offending someone by offering potentially unwanted help, or to risk letting someone struggle by not offering potentially needed help?

I called out to the woman to ask if she needed help, and she gratefully said yes.  She was on her way to the T and had gotten turned around.  I led her back to the sidewalk.  She asked if I was going to the T and I said no, but that I was walking past it, which was true.  She immediately slipped her hand onto my arm and asked if I’d lead her there.  Of course I was glad to.  We joked and laughed about how we hold ourselves to high standards, trying to be perfect despite our disabilities.  She, of course, had no idea what mine were, but that didn’t matter.  We had a nice chat, and then I left her off at the door to the train station and continued on home.

There are dozens of ways we might have missed each other.  I don’t believe in fate, but I am so glad the timing worked out so that I could help someone else.  It is so easy to become absorbed in our own health issues, and it meant a lot to me that I was able to get outside of that to help a stranger.  I am sure she would have eventually made it to the station without my help, but I hope that I made her night a little better.

~~~~~~~~~~

If you can relate to this, please pass it along and share the camaraderie!  Let’s build a community!

Leave a Comment » | Educating, Expectations, Kindness, Raves, Support, Thoughtfulness | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

« Previous Entries
Next Entries »