Freaking out over finances

August 21, 2012

Two weeks ago I was feeling pretty good about my finances.  Actually, I was feeling good about my limited spending.  You see, I grew up in the middle class.  My parents didn’t go on extravagant trips to Europe or buy expensive clothes, but we also never worried about having enough food or even toys.  They earned decent livings and also saved a lot, and it worked out.  I always assumed I’d be the same way.

And I was.  I thought about money, but I was fortunate to never stress out about it.  I didn’t earn a great living, but it was enough, and I kept my spending down, so I was on track to afford retirement at around the normal age.  In the last year I’ve cut my spending way down because of my precarious income predicament, and I’ve done well with that, but the thing is, I still have expenses.  There’s rent, utilities, healthcare, food…. I simply need to have some income, and now I have none.  I was saving for retirement, and I can spend that now, but it won’t last terribly long, and then what?

Technically, nothing has changed in the past two weeks except my perception, but boy has my perception changed.  As I’m getting farther into the LTD appeal process, I’m realizing that I could lose.  Yes, the odds are in my favor that I’ll win, but not by a huge margin, and I’m nervous.  If I lose, then what?  I’ll have a big gap before social security kicks in, and even then, SSDI won’t be enough to live off of.  What will I do?  I’m a bit panicked.

I know that my only option would be to move in with my parents, but I just can’t imagine how that would work.  The timing would be that I’d move in with them just as they put their house on the market.  That feels impossible.  And what about my furniture?  If I get rid of it, I won’t be able to afford to replace it if I move out on my own again.  But will I ever live on my own again?  And food could be really tough, with all of my restrictions; they’d have to rearrange their kitchen.  More than that, they’d have to rearrange their lives.  I don’t want to do that to them or to me.

And what would happen in the long term?

If I win the appeal, LTD would cover me until spring of 2014.  That isn’t long enough, really, but by then at least I’d know more definitively if I’ll ever be able to go back to work.  And it will give me more time to make a plan.  And if I lose, I need a plan yesterday.  I just wish I had one that I felt ok with.

Leave a Comment » | Educating, Expectations, Frustration, Limitations, Rants, Unpredictable | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

Medicaid makes me so damn mad

August 16, 2012

Medicaid makes me so damn mad!

Our entire healthcare system in this country is so incredibly broken.  Now, I’ve heard mixed things about healthcare in other countries, but since I’ve never lived in those countries I can’t comment on their healthcare.  My guess is that in most industrialized countries the healthcare is better than what we have here but it still needs improvement, but that’s just a guess.  What I do know about is the broken system in the United States.

I could rant about many different aspects of healthcare, and I have, again and again, but right now I’m thinking about Medicaid.

First, there was a posting in the forum of a personal finance web site.  Personal finance is a hobby of mine, and it often intersects with the health stuff (like in reducing expenses and paying for medical care, etc.)  This particular posting was from someone with a very low income who was wondering how she could possibly afford health insurance.  Several people suggested that she apply for Medicaid and they didn’t realize that in many states, including hers, she isn’t eligible for it.  In some states, people without children simply aren’t eligible, regardless of their financial or medical status.  This is absurd.  Why on earth is this being handled on a state-by-state basis?  When people assume that eligibility requirements are looser than they are, it skews their political beliefs, not to mention their view of their own safety net.  The American public needs a lot of education about this.

Then I applied for Medicaid in my own state.  Thankfully, in Massachusetts a single person can be eligible for Medicaid.  Of course, just because I can and should be eligible doesn’t mean I’ll get it, and if I do get it, I have no idea which of the many plans I would be offered.  This means that I don’t know if I’ll lose my PCP or not.  If I lose my PCP, then I won’t be able to get referrals to my specialists.  That means I would not be able to get my prescriptions.  Then I’d be screwed.  Shit.

I follow politics closely and so I am very aware of the current healthcare debates.  The Republicans were all for healthcare reform until the Democrats enacted it.  Now the Republicans want to repeal it simply because they want to hurt the Democrats.  WTF?!?!?!?!  Since they can’t repeal healthcare reform right now they are doing what they can: many Republican governors are refusing to expand Medicaid, even though they would get complete federal funding at the beginning and quite a large federal subsidy thereafter.  In looking to hurt the Democrats, they are hurting their own citizens.

And then there was this article.  Who on earth thinks that the yearly income limit for Medicaid should be less than the yearly premiums for health insurance?!?  Whether or not you believe that Medicaid should exist, can anyone really argue that as long as it does exist, it should be available for those who need it?  What’s the point in having a system that the people who it was designed to help can’t access?

This is madness, I tell you, madness!!!

I admit that I don’t have all the answers, but I would like to suggest a few anyway.  Please bear with me.  First, Medicaid, like Medicare, needs to be offered on a federal level, or at least it must be subject to federally-mandated minimums.  Clearly states can not be trusted to handle it.  Anyone who thinks that non-parents do not “deserve” healthcare as much as parents needs some serious help.  Also, Medicaid should be used to fill in the gap of people who want health insurance and who truly can not afford it.  If you don’t earn enough to cover basics like rent/mortgage, food, and health insurance, then you should be covered.  Finally, Medicaid reimbursement rates need to be increased.  I’m not suggesting that every medical visit warrants a four-figure reimbursement, but medical facilities must receive reimbursement that at least covers their costs so that they will continue to take on Medicaid patients.  The system doesn’t do the patients any good if reimbursement rates are so low that all doctors refuse them, and that’s what’s happening now (which is why I may lose my PCP.)

Like I said, I don’t have all the answers, but I think this would be a good start.  I’m sure you’re wondering how we’d pay for this.  Well, I don’t know, but let me ask, how are we paying for Medicare?  How much are we spending on graft and fraud?  Isn’t it worth keeping our citizenry healthy so that they can continue to work and thereby pay more in income tax (and probably sales tax too, since they’d be able to spend more?)  Personally, I need health insurance and social security so that I can focus on getting healthy.  Yes, some people may never recover, but there are others (and I sincerely hope that I’m one of them) who can, and who will gladly return to the workplace and to paying their fair share of taxes so that others can enjoy the support of the same system that helped them to recover.  Now that’s a system I’d like to see.

Leave a Comment » | Educating, Expectations, Frustration, Healthcare, Limitations, Politics, Rants | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

Good bye nausea, hello diet

August 15, 2012

Yesterday I said goodbye to the old diet and today I welcome the new diet – AT LAST!

There’s no doubt that the old diet helped – I felt soooo much better within a week of starting it.  But I think I could be doing even better than I already am.  And on top of that, I can bring back a whole lot of foods that I love (pasta sauce! popcorn!) and sure I have to give up a lot of foods I really enjoy (peanuts, broccoli, quinoa) but at least now I know that I’m on the right track.  Ok, sure, the tests aren’t 100% accurate, but it should be pretty damn close!

No, this won’t be easy, but what the hell is?  It’s WORTH IT!  I think that’s something that “healthy” people don’t understand.  A few have said to my face “Oh, I could never be gluten-free.”  To them, the option is to eat foods they love or to give up those foods.  To me, the option is to suffer nausea, diarrhea, abdominal pain, cramping, and fatigue on a regular basis, or to give up some foods that aren’t necessary for my survival.  When you look at it that way, it’s not much of a choice, is it?  So now I’ll give up a few dozen foods on top of gluten.  Some will be temporary and some will be permanent and I really don’t care – I’m just so glad to have a plan!

By the way, for anyone who’s wondering, the mold and herb tests came back with a few minor reactions but nothing much, and I only have one strong chemical reaction, so I’ll be checking all of my cleansers and nail polish (luckily I don’t wear makeup!) to make sure I’m not getting exposed that way.  For me, the big results were all in the food categories, which was really no surprise.

So now I want to say a big THANK YOU to everyone who has helped me.  My parents have been the most amazing, supportive people I could hope for.  Several incredible friends stood by my side offering advice and comfort.  My grandfather generously paid for the test when insurance wouldn’t cover it.  My naturopath suggested the test and went out of her way to get me a discount.  And so many readers have emailed, commented, and tweeted with advice and support.  Thank you everyone!  Let’s face it, in the CI world celebrations can be a bit too rare, so I’m thrilled to have a good reason to celebrate today.  This is only one step in the journey, but it’s a big one!

1 Comment | Educating, Expectations, Healthcare, Limitations, Medication, Pain, Raves, Symptoms, Unpredictable | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

Thankful for frugality

August 9, 2012

A couple years ago a friend came over and commented on how cluttered my apartment was.  I figured they were exaggerating.  Then a little while later, it happened again with someone else.  So maybe it was me?

I started cleaning things out.  And around that time I came across a great article online about cleaning out a home.  Isn’t it funny how one thing leads to another?  I don’t remember how I found that article to begin with, but at the end of it were links to other articles on the same site.  They looked interesting, so I clicked a few.  And the links on those pages looked interesting too, so I clicked some more.  I spent a long time on that site.  It was my first time on a personal finance site, or even hearing the term “personal finance,” and already I was hooked.

Since then I have read a lot of sites and found many that I like and now follow.  I have also read some fantastic personal finance books.  (Remember books?  Those things made of paper?)  This is a fantastic interest in so many ways, and the timing was great.

The basic idea is to spend less than you earn and save the difference.  The goal can be to save for a house, or a car, or a vacation.  The goal might be to fund your retirement or to retire early.  There are a lot of people who choose to retire at a younger age, like 40 or 50.  I knew I wouldn’t be able to work until I was 65 because of my health, but I did expect it to be longer than it’s been.  I figured I should at least make it to 50 or 55, so I started doing the math to figure out how I could have enough saved by then to retire early.  Thanks to being raised by a very frugal mother, I have always spent less than I’d earned, but I now realize I could have been doing much better.  Of course, in order to spend less than you earn, if you don’t do this already or if you need to improve, you have 3 options:

  1. Spend less.
  2. Earn more.
  3. Do both

Simple, right?  Earning more wasn’t a great option for me then.  I simply didn’t work in a field where I could have been earning more, and a side job was unlikely because of my health.  I did try doing some consulting work, but I just didn’t have the energy for it.  Spending less seemed unlikely because I was already spending so much less than most people I knew.  Still, since earning more was out, I decided to give it a shot.

I AM SO GLAD I DID THAT!  As it turns out, I could indeed spend less money.  And I hadn’t known it then, but I was about to enter a new stage in my life where I would have a much lower income and then no income at all.  Now, I do still have expenses, like rent.  I have luxuries, like internet access and my smartphone (I know, I know… I’m gearing up to getting rid of that.)  But I have gotten rid of so much else.  My new diet helps, both because I can’t eat out and also because I am more full, so I am eating less and spending less on groceries.  My electric bill went way up this money, but I can’t get through the summer without air conditioning, at least not without being incredibly ill every day.  But since I have so little energy I rarely go out, so I am spending less on gas for the car and on passes for the subway.  Sure, new clothes would be nice, but I don’t actually need new clothes, so I skip them.  The one area I am not skimping on is anything health-related.  Food, supplements, medications, treatments, and tests were the vast majority of my credit card bill this month, and I’m ok with that.  I mean, I wish more of it was covered by my insurance, but so be it.  Not only is there no point in living if I don’t take care of my body, but it can also be viewed as an investment.  After all, if I can get healthier, maybe I could go back to work, and then I’d have a bigger income.

A big point in the personal finance world is to find balance.  Cut back on spending, but not to the point where you’re not enjoying life.  Of course, that’s assuming you have an income.  So if (when?) I win the insurance battle, I’ll loosen up on a few things.  And in the meantime, it feels good to have a way of being at least a little bit proactive, of having a tiny bit of control in a situation where I otherwise have none.

So I’m still reading the personal finance blogs, spending extra time on the ones that encourage and give tips on frugality.  I love the comments by other readers, and the forums that some of them have.  The other readers/participants are so inspirational.  If they can do it, I can do it, right?

Oh, and back to what started it all, my apartment is looking much neater now, but there’s still more to go through and get rid of!

In case you’re curious, here are a few of my favorite sites and books:

Leave a Comment » | Educating, Milestones, Raves, Unpredictable | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

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