Maybe it’s because I have a disability. Maybe it’s because I ask for help. Maybe it’s because I’m a woman. Maybe it’s all 3. Whatever the reason, it’s irritating.
It’s winter in Boston. Winter in Boston means snow on the ground. Not every day, but enough of the time.
It’s beautiful. It’s picturesque. And it’s a pain in the ass.
I love the snow when I’m indoors, but then I need to go out. It’s slippery, and I’m terrified of falling and further hurting myself. I’m not steady on my feet, so a fall is more likely. I need help shoveling out my car due to my back and wrist pain. Suffice to say, it’s difficult.
Luckily, friends and strangers have been kind over the years, and in my new home, that hasn’t changed. Folks have helped me shovel out my car, and for that I’m grateful.
What I could do without is the “explaining.” Today a neighbor helped to shovel out my car while I cleared the top, which thankfully I’m still able to do. It was really sweet – we’d never even met before. I was really appreciating his efforts. Then he told me to “try moving back a bit, don’t gun it, if you get stuck you’ll want to…” and he proceeded to tell me how to back out of the parking space. I’d already told him I’d grown up here and lived most of my life here while we chatted about Boston winters. So why did he think I couldn’t back out of a parking space in the snow (if you’ve never done it, yes, it’s tricky. But once you’ve done it for 20+ years, you usually know what you’re doing.)
The other day it was someone else telling me how to back out of a space. A couple weeks ago, someone warned me as I got in my car that the roads would be getting slippery soon. What the $%#@?!? I learned to drive in this stuff back in the ’90s! I know how to tell when roads are getting slippery, for crying out loud.
I need help. That’s true. I won’t deny it for a second. But I’m not entirely helpless. There’s a lot I can do and there’s a lot that I know. Driving in the snow is one of those things. So I wish people would stop condescending to me.
Some people feel much better when they believe they’ve offered advice. At least they weren’t making fun of you. 🙂
True, hermigraine. And I know I have a bad habit of offering too much advice. I just find it so condescending.
I don’t think they mean to come across as condescending ( well most don’t ) While we find it irritating they are just being nice in the only way they know and are looking out for us. It’s either all or nothing. Gritted teeth! Hopefully your neighbours will get to know a bit about what you can and can’t do. Hugs xx
Thanks for your support, Lorna. I hope you’re right, that in time more of them understand!