Stretching boundaries, hitting walls

Eeek! It’s been almost 2 weeks since I’ve written and I miss it so much! The funny thing is, for the past few days I’ve been at a loss as to what to write, but today I find myself with too 2016-06-12 10.08.47many posts on my mind. The rest will have to wait for another day, because today I want to talk a bit about why I was gone for so long.

I love Massachusetts. It’s a fantastic place to live. But sometimes I just want to get away. I used to travel a lot. Ok, not as much as some people, but it was rare that I was in the state for more than a month or two at a time. Then I got sick. So yeah, that changed things more than a little.

Last month I wrote about my frustrations with not being able to travel. Lucky for me, the states here in New England are small, so I can travel between them somewhat easily. And that’s how I was able to go to Maine this month!

I’ll skip the details, because you’d probably find them boring anyway. The gist is that I stayed in a rented house on the shore with a bunch of family, including my parents, extended family, and 2 awesome dogs.

So I’m sure you’re wondering, how’d it go? Well, it was mixed.

I felt great when I arrived! The drive was under two hours, then there was a lovely boat 2016-06-14 17.25.17ride. I was greeted by family and we all had a nice time and a fun dinner. It was later that I felt horrible. Really horrible. Please-make-it-all-go-away kind of horrible. I’ve felt worse, of course, but this was still lousy.

Somehow, I finally managed to sleep. I slept terribly that night, but I did sleep just enough. I woke up at 5:30am. To me, that’s not morning. Anything before 6am is still night. But I was wide awake, the sun was streaming into my room, and I should hear the roar of the ocean outside my window. It could have been a lot worse.

I spent 4 days in Maine. That first night was rough. There was also a lot of pain. There were a lot of stairs just to get into the house. And I didn’t figure out until 2 days before the trip 2016-06-12 15.15.17that the reason my feet had been hurting was that I needed new sneakers. And there was some family-related stress.

But there were also bright skies and blue ocean. Even the drizzle was lovely. There were jokes and laughter. There was puppy cuddling. There were board games and walks. Sometimes I wanted to go on a walk with folks but I couldn’t. Other times, I could, but they had to slow down for me, or cut the walk short. Once I turned back early. Sometimes I went on drives. And it was all ok.

It was frustrating that I couldn’t do everything I wanted to do. Everything they did. Everything I used to do in the same coastal town when I visited just a few years ago.

On the other hand, check out these photos. I can think of worse ways to spend 4 days!

I was exhausted when I got home. I spent the night resting, watching tv, and checking in with friends. I had to rest the whole next day, too. The following day I felt barely well enough to go out for groceries, then I collapsed on the couch when I got home. Still, the 2016-06-12 19.25.54recovery wasn’t too bad.

I pushed myself. But I pushed myself carefully. I felt crappy some of the time but good most of the time and even great for a tiny bit. It will never be perfect, and right now that’s ok. I’m just thankful that I got to go at all. And I got to sit by the ocean.

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6 Responses to Stretching boundaries, hitting walls

  1. Puppy cuddling, bright skies, family, and ocean views – sounds like a wonderful trip, even if you did have to push yourself at times. Not too long ago, you maybe wouldn’t have been able to take that trip at all. (I’d love to visit Maine someday – maybe once I’m retired, if my health holds out.)

    • chronicrants says:

      Thanks CM, and you’re right, it’s more than I could have done at other times, so I’m very appreciative of that! If you ever do visit Maine, please let me know where you end up 🙂 In the meantime, I hope you are able visit some more places that are closer to you.

      • I was amazed when I made it all the way to Pittsburgh (3-1/2 hour drive or so), and was able to do all the driving both ways. Even better, I was still able to walk when we got there! Granted, we only had to walk across the street to the restaurant, but it was up a slight hill – not too long ago, I wouldn’t have been able to manage it.

      • chronicrants says:

        That’s fantastic! Congratulations! Go you!!! 🙂

  2. Ms. Mango says:

    What beautiful photos. You are right, it may have not been the greatest or what you would have wanted, but it could have been worse. When dealing with illnesses that stop us from doing all the normal things, we have to be more open to seeing the little joys we DO get to do and see. I hope your recovery is still on the up and up and that you are able to still find ways to travel to keep your heart and mind happy.

    • chronicrants says:

      Thanks Ms. Mango! Travel is really limited for me but you’re right, I do get a lot of joy from the little things. And a single getaway means so much more these days.

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