It’s 9pm on Tuesday night and I am sitting in my apartment typing this. The last time I went outside was on Sunday afternoon. I wish I could say this never happens, that I never get confined to my apartment, but sadly, it happens far too often.
So many people comment on how good I look, or on how cheerful I am, or on how well I seem to handle all of my health problems. What they don’t understand, even when I try to explain it, is that the reason I always appear so well to them is that they simply don’t see me when I’m not doing well. Simple.
They also don’t understand that I’m not hiding from them. It is very rare that I stay home so that someone won’t see me looking or acting ill. It’s actually the opposite – they don’t see me looking or acting ill because when I feel that bad, I don’t have the energy to leave the house anyway.
So that’s where I am right now. I felt so lousy yesterday that I skipped my errands. I still felt horrible today, so I canceled my plans. When I do eventually see people I’ll appear to be doing better, because if I don’t feel up to leaving the house, then I’ll just stay home. I’m sick of my pjs and I’m tired of sitting on the couch, but right now, it’s really all I can manage, so I’ll just have to go along with it.
Oh, and in case you’ve been following and you’re wondering, yes, this is my body’s payback for the other night. And it’s completely worth it.