I’ve thought through all the possibilities, considered every angle, but that one question felt like someone slapped me upside the head. Actually, no, it felt more like I’d been hit with a steamroller. How had I never thought of that before?
Last year I applied for FMLA at work. I was told that I got 12 weeks of FMLA total for the year. I shrugged it off, saying that I wouldn’t need 12 weeks.
A few months ago I applied for short term disability insurance (STD.) I was told how long term disability insurance (LTD) works, just as part of the application process. I shrugged it off, saying I wouldn’t need LTD. I wouldn’t need all of the STD.
Now I’m on STD and it will be lasting more than 12 weeks. And suddenly LTD doesn’t seem so unrealistic. Maybe I will need it after all? But no, that can’t be. If need be, I’ll just get a part time job.
Last night I told a friend that I had applied for a part time job. I wasn’t looking for work, but a friend told me about a perfect opening at his organization, a place I’ve wanted to work at for years now. It would be stupid not to apply, so I did. When I mentioned this, she 
seemed surprised, and asked if it made more sense for me to get LTD instead (the requirement to apply is that I can’t do the work of my current position, which is certainly true now; to extend it beyond the initial period I would need to say that I couldn’t do any work at all, but that’s not a bridge I need to cross any time soon.) I started to explain that LTD only pays a certain percentage of my salary, and as I was explaining this, I realized that I wouldn’t earn more at a part time job, and I’d probably earn less. And the benefits wouldn’t be as good. And I’d have to commute, and deal with the physical and mental demand of having a job.
BAM!
That’s when it hit me: I might need to sign up for LTD and be on it for a while! Now, I have some time to figure this out. I can be on STD for a bit longer, so I will wait until the time gets closer to make a decision. Tomorrow I’m going to have blood drawn, and maybe my fatigue is just from something simple, like anemia. I’ve never wanted anemia so badly in my life. I will hope there’s a fix for this. But in the meantime, I’ll be reconsidering all of the options I’d already considered. It’s time to look at this from a new angle.
And maybe buy a lottery ticket.
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Chronic Rants 