Bodies going bezerk

September 6, 2011

Any day can be unpredictable when you’re dealing with an autoimmune disease, but some are worse than others.  My guess is that today’s problems are worse because of my meds, but it could be the conditions themselves, or the weather, or just randomness.  Who knows?  I sure don’t!

A dog accidentally scratched me the other day while we were played.  It left a mark, but didn’t break the skin or anything.  The next day, there was a small bruise.  Today there are 5 bruises, some large, and they’re blue and sensitive to touch!

Sunday night I got what I thought were 3 mosquito bites.  The next day there were at least twice as many.  Today there are even more!  Maybe they aren’t mosquito bites after all?  Maybe my body is telling me something?

And then last night pain set in, along with some swelling.  Great.  It hasn’t gone away yet.

I was doing ok a few days ago, and now my body is going haywire.  I don’t know what caused it.  I don’t know when it will go away.  In the meantime, I’m treating myself to a night of tv and unproductive web surfing.  Productivity can wait until I’m feeling better.  Tonight is about relaxing.

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Posted by chronicrants

Thankful for so much; Today: Housecleaner

September 5, 2011


There’s a lot to be thankful for in my life.  I’ve spoken before about friends and about family.  Today I’m thankful for something simpler: my ability to pay a housecleaner.  Once each month, someone cleans my apartment for me.  For some people this sounds like an unimaginable luxury.  For others, once a month would never be enough.  For me, this has been a wonderful experience.

I am perfectly willing to live a less-than-spotless home (actually, I prefer it.)  What I am not willing to do is to spend entire weekend
days cleaning, then resting from said cleaning.  Scrubbing the tub can wipe me out for hours.  I can’t clean all of the floors in one day.  By the time I spend 4 Saturdays getting one part of the apartment clean, the rest is disgusting.  Instead, I can save my time, energy, and joints
 by having someone else do all of this.  Having someone come more often might be nice, but since I live alone with no pets, and I’m not a total slob, once a month works, and it’s more affordable.  She is coming tomorrow with her group.  They will accomplish in a couple of hours what it would take me many Saturdays to achieve, and they definitely do it better than I would.

Could I spend the money on other things?  Yep.  Do I want to?  Nope!  Sure, I could eat out more, or put the money towards a trip.  There are so many things I could spend it on.  But for less than the cost of many cell phone plans, for less than what some people spend drinking each month, for less than a fancy meal, I never have to clean.  Ever.  At all.  Sure, I wash dishes between her visits, and wipe down kitchen counters.  I do not vacuum, clean floors, scrub the toilet, clean the tub, dust, or do any of those other exhausting, pain tasks.  I don’t miss it a bit.  Do I feel guilty?  Not at all.  Sure, I used to feel some middle class guilt, but I don’t any more.  She saves me pain and exhaustion.  I pay her in a down economy.  When I do the math, I come up with 2 winners and 0 losers.  Works for me!

As I said, I am so thankful for my ability to hire someone to clean my house.  And I’m grateful for the wonderful job she does.  I’m very excited for her visit tomorrow!

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Posted by chronicrants

Germs: Prevention or Paranoia?

September 4, 2011

When your immune system isn’t what it should be, it’s extra important to avoid germs.  Well, obviously some germs are ok.  Some are even good for you.  But then there are certain viruses and bacteria that we need to avoid.  In the next month I’ll get my flu shot.  I wash my hands a lot.  Beyond there, how much more can I do?

When someone is clearly sick, I try to keep my distance.  I try not to get too close to a sick co-worker or friend.  When people seem to be healthy, I tend to assume that they are.  Sure, they could be carrying something, but I don’t want to be paranoid.

So that takes care of the black and white, but what about the gray?  What if a person was sick, and now they feel ok, but they’re still

coughing?  What if it’s one of those hacking coughs?  Is it ok if they were sick 2 weeks ago?  What if it was 2 days ago?  And then there are still trickier situations.  What if my friend is fine, but her kid is sick?  Obviously I’ll stay away from her kid, but should I still meet her for dinner?  Maybe going out is ok, but we shouldn’t hang out at my place, in case she’s carrying around some germs.  Or maybe that’s being overly cautious.

I don’t know what the answer is.  I know I caught a “cold” a few months ago.  My friend had it for about a week.  She didn’t miss work, just felt lousy.  She was asymptomatic when we had lunch together.  Even though we weren’t that close, didn’t hug, didn’t share food, I caught it.  I was sick for two weeks.  I missed five days of work.  I felt horrible.  My immune system just couldn’t seem to fight it off.  So I know I have to avoid colds.  But I can’t live in a bubble, either.  Where’s the balance?

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Posted by chronicrants

Pain, pain, go away…

September 1, 2011

… come again, well, never

And just in time for the long weekend, the pain returns.  This sucks.  So much for lowering the steroids.  So much for the hope that Plaquenil might work.  I hope I can keep my plans for tomorrow afternoon.  It’s hard to know…. I may barely be able to walk.

Of all the many places I have pain, the toe pain is one of the more inconvenient ones.  Because of the pain in my wrists, I can’t use a cane or crutches, and a wheelchair is completely out of the question, so when the pain is bad, I limp a lot and try not to walk.  Combine that lack of movement with the steroids, and it’s no wonder I’ve gain a lot of weight.  Lugging around extra weight doesn’t help things, but it’s certainly not my biggest worry.

I had 3 other posts all planned out.  One is written, and two are composed in my head.  But then the pain, started.  I could feel it creeping up for the past two days, and then half an hour ago, it hit.  I know from experience that it won’t be going away too soon.  I just hope it doesn’t get worse too soon!  And I can’t think of anything else.  So tonight’s post is fairly self-involved, except I’m sure many of you know this feeling and may feel less alone knowing it happens to other people too.

So tomorrow, back to the higher dose of Prednisone.  Damn!  So close!

Leave a Comment » | Frustration, Isolation, Limitations, Medication, Pain, Rants, Unpredictable | Permalink
Posted by chronicrants

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