Looking for balance

October 5, 2011

How do you maintain your balance?  No, I don’t mean physical balance (though that can be challenging too.)  I’m talking about life balance.  I’m counting down to getting mine back.

It’s ironic really.  I used to have a decent balance in life, but I think part of that was having different priorities.  As my priorities have shifted, I’ve also lost energy and had other worsening symptoms, and that’s made it harder to keep the balance.  I know what you’re thinking, but actually, the new priorities should make it easier to keep my balance.  I now want to spend less time and energy at a job.  I want to focus more on friends, family, and personal growth.  I want to stop caring about material objects and use that money to save for the future and enjoy the present.

In just a few more days I’ll be on a medical leave of absence from my job.  My top priority is to improve my health.  I’m going to rest, exercise, improve my diet, etc.  But I’m also going to get my life in order, because I know that I won’t be able to maintain my physical health if everything else is out of balance.  My simple goal is to do as many of the items on my to do list as I can before I go back to work in a few months.  And I want to cross out a lot of the items that I won’t be able to do.  I want to shrink that list and get my balance back.

And that brings me back to the original question: how will I maintain that balance?

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Pain: It’s all relative

October 4, 2011

It’s that time of year.  Some people are gearing up for Halloween, others are lining up for flu shots (and I suppose some might be doing both.)  I got my flu shot today for the fourth year in a row.  It’s funny to me how people get nervous about it.  If you’ve never had one, or if you get bad reactions, then I get it.  What amuses me are the folks who worry about the pain of the flu shot.

Then again, I guess I’m not really amused.  I’m actually jealous.  It would be nice to think of a flu shot as terrible pain.  I suppose that if you rarely experience pain, if you measure pain by a stubbed toe or hitting your funny bone (I did that this morning; it’s really not so funny) then sure, a flu shot seems bad.  I’m jealous, because I have so much pain so frequently that a flu shot feels like nothing.  Ok, it’s not nothing; I felt it and it hurt a bit.  My arm is sore.  Do I care?  Not really.  I know it will make it a bit harder to sleep for a couple of nights.  I can sleep through other pain because I’m used to it, but pain in a new location will throw me off for a bit.  And then it’s gone.  That’s the thing, we all know that it’s temporary.  I would so love to know that my pain and other symptoms were temporary.

So come on people, I know you can do it.  If you don’t want to get the flu shot because you don’t believe in vaccines or something, that’s your choice.  But please don’t avoid it because of the “pain.”  My guess is that one day you’ll experience real pain, and you’ll look back and wonder what you were so afraid of.  If you want it, just do it.  At least this pain goes away.

 

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Temper control

October 3, 2011

I started this blog because sometimes I get angry.  I get angry at the illnesses, I get angry at the symptoms, I get angry at other people who are insensitive.  These people are coworkers, family members, friends, acquaintances, policy-makers, and strangers.  Some days nothing bothers me.  Some days I’m peeved.  Other days I’m mad.  Some days I’m angry.

Today moves past all of those emotions, right to enfuriating.  I am so angry, I want to yell, kick, scream.

This post isn’t about the details (even as an anonymous post, I’m guessing it might cost me my job, even though they’re completely wrong here.)  No, this post isn’t about what exactly happened.  It’s about the emotions

I’ve always had a temper.  Over the years I’ve learned to control it.  Most people are shocked when I say I have a temper because they never see it.  They should have heard me ranting this evening.  The trick, of course, is to control my temper when I confront the job-type folks who are causing me to feel this way.  I need to control the rage.  I will have to think rationally and present my case calmly and clearly.  I know that getting upset will diminish my position.  Still, WHAT ARE THEY THINKING?

Ok, time to take some deep breaths.  Tomorrow will be an interesting day…..

 

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The perfect gift

October 3, 2011

It’s carnival time!  I’m excited to have this post on Chronic Babe’s carnival about the perfect gift.  This is a great carnival, so please pass the word.