We all know how it goes. You get sick and everyone steps up to help you. Then you stay sick, and people get busy with their own lives. It happens. I’m as guilty of it as anyone. And that’s why it feels so odd when the support is offered again.
Part of the problem, of course, is that I suck at asking for help. I should do it more. And part of the problem is that I would be asking for help so often, my friends would get burned out. I get that. I can’t expect anyone to be visiting me every other week or helping with laundry regularly. But at the same time, I know that people forget, and that’s tough.
So when I had surgery a couple weeks ago, it was wonderful that so many friends stepped in to help and offer support. Suddenly there was an outpouring of good wishes, emails, and phone calls. I’ve gotten visits and thoughtful gifts (like a gift card for grocery delivery!) After so many years of poor health, this all feels a bit strange, but it’s far from the strangest part.
The strangest part is every time someone looks at my foot and comments on the cast. I don’t know how to respond when someone asks if I’m in pain or if I’m having a tough time. I won’t lie to you – this isn’t easy. But it’s not that bad, either. I’m stuck at home, but the truth is that I’m often stuck at home, this is just for a bit longer. It hurts, but very little compared to my normal daily pain, and a hell of a lot less than the original injury. I’m limited, but not so much worse than usual. I’m frustrated, but that’s nothing new. It stops me from doing things what want to do, but that’s like all other days. Yet people ask about it as if it’s so different.
The truth is, I feel better this week than I have in ages, thanks to the change in seasons and my forced increase in rest time.
In another month I’ll be back to “normal” and the extra emails, calls, and visits will have ended. For now, I’ll just enjoy it while it lasts.
When someone comments on your foot, I would just tell them, “It’s been tough, but its getting better. Thanks for asking.”
Thanks CM. Sometimes I say something like that. Often I just shrug it off and say it’s not too bad or I’m doing fine. But I should come up with a standard answer like yours – it would be much easier.
[…] (you should totally write for it too!) Another friend asked how I was doing with my recovery from the surgery I had a few months ago. A couple people who were standing with her asked about it. But that really […]