Painful weather, like it or not

October 5, 2017

It’s October in New England, but you wouldn’t know it if you didn’t look at a calendar.

Every summer I count down until the third weekend in September. That’s when I know the weather will have finally shifted for good, and I’ll be feeling less pain, less fatigue, and less nausea. It’s truly a magical time.

But not this year.

This year we had cooler weather in August, and I was grateful for that, but I also knew it wouldn’t last. September was up and down. But surely October would be my time, right? Not so much.

When you have chronic illness, nothing is simple, and the unpredictable symptoms, flares, and other issues can make life hard to plan. Still, we do our best. For me, that means making more plans in the fall and winter, when I know I will feel better.

That’s why, even though a “simple” weekend away with my best girlfriends is incredibly hard, I felt I could do it if it was in the fall. My friends are understanding, and were perfectly happy to avoid planning anything in September, just in case. They get it. Every time we’ve had cooler, less humid weather, I get text messages and emails from friends saying, “This is your kind of weather! I hope you’re feeling up to enjoy it.” And I love that they understand.

So we planned for “safe” October. Who could have known? This isn’t our typical cool, crisp, wonderful New England autumn.

Thankfully the temperatures are cool enough, though way too warm for this time of year (upper 70s?!? Are you fucking kidding me?!?) My problem is the dew point. It’s supposed to get close to 70 this weekend! Even healthy people find that uncomfortable and for me, it will be near torture. But what can I do? The house we rented doesn’t have air conditioning – after all, none of us thought we’d need it. Higher on our list was finding a house with a working fire place. Last year we did this trip later in October and it snowed. We had a lovely time sitting by a roaring fire, and wanted to repeat that experience. If only.

I am in pain already, and it’s only beginning. Well yes, I’m always in pain, but this is worse, and I know it’s from the weather. My toes are swollen and painful. My knee is swollen and so painful that it’s hard to walk. My neck hurts. Everything is just wrong.

But I won’t stay home. I have been looking forward to this trip for a year. It is my one chance to do this. I will NOT give it up!

I will bring the medications that I can. I will be careful how I eat. And I will block out a lot of extra recovery time when I return. Still, I know this is going to be really rough. I will be in pain, nauseated, and fatigued. Thankfully, I will be surrounding by wonderful women, women I have known most of my life, the only non-relatives who knew me before any of my symptoms began, women who have always been supportive. And maybe most importantly, women who have always made me laugh, even at the worst of times.

So wish me luck. Because I want to be able to enjoy this weekend as much as possible. If only Mother Nature would cooperate.


When friends and weather don’t accommodate the good days

February 13, 2015

There are good days and there are bad days. We all know that. Sometimes there are good weeks and bad weeks. I have good seasons and bad seasons. I’ll have good days in the bad seasons and bad days in the good seasons, but mostly I feel 2015-02-10 15.16.52good in fall and winter and horrible in spring and summer. It’s just the way it is.

That means that when my friends are all picnicking in parks, swimming at beaches, and throwing frisbees in fields, I’m at home feeling miserable. And when everyone hibernates in the winter, I feel much better and can finally go out. It sucks.

Still, I usually make the most of it. I convince people to go out in the winter, and I spend my time with the people who don’t mind so much. I also go to friends’ houses more, instead of making them come to mine like I do in the summer.

But that’s in a typical winter, and this winter is anything but typical. Three weeks ago I wrote about how silly people were acting as a storm approached. This is Boston. We get snow. We can’t panic every time.

Well, that was three weeks ago. Then the next week we got another huge storm. 2015-02-11 10.43.46And another the week after that. And another is due tomorrow. We’ve gotten more snow in the last few weeks than we usually get in an entire winter! The subway keeps shutting down, buses are running late, cars are buried (see that photo on the right? How many cars do you think are parked there? It’s more than 1….), sidewalks are narrow, curbcuts are blocked, intersections are dangerous as drivers can’t see around the mounds of snow, and for many people (including at least 3 of my friends) roofs are leaking. It’s a mess out there!

This means that 2 things are happening:

1) Plans keep getting canceled on the days of storms. I was looking forward to a singles party tomorrow night (Valentine’s Day) but that got rescheduled, and a brunch Sunday morning was canceled.

2) On non-storm days people just don’t want to go out, or can’t. My chronic pain support group usually has 15-20 2015-02-10 15.48.58people. Sometimes there are more or less, but it’s rare to have fewer than a dozen people there. Today there were 6. SIX!

Even my able-bodied friends find it difficult to get around these days. It’s just such a mess out there. Wait, I might have said that already.

So while I’m finally feeling pretty decent, able to walk around and get outside and do things, I find myself trapped at home, or unable to walk down slippery sidewalks, or not able to move my car, and there are very few people to spend time with.

They’re all looking forward to summer.

I’m just wishing for a milder winter.


Whether weather matters

August 1, 2011

Weather is a real pain in the you-know-what.  We can’t control it, we can barely predict it, and it can have a huge impact on our quality of life.  So many chronic conditions are affected by the weather.  People have said, “Why don’t you just move?”  Yeah, that’s easy for you to say.  Have you ever moved to a new city without knowing anyone there?  I’ve done it.  It’s hard.  It’s really really hard.  And the weather was great, but I didn’t like the city, so I was pretty unhappy there.  Where would I be happy?  And where would I even feel better?  I can’t be in a place that’s too hot and humid, or a place that’s too snowy and dark.  And since I’d need a job, and I’m not a citizen of any other countries, it would probably need to be in the U.S.  That’s pretty limiting.

I don’t want to move.  My family is here.  My friends are here.  I would hate to leave the people I care about.  But I know I’ll move some day.  Every summer is worse than the one before.  Every year I question how much longer I can stay.  My seasons in Boston are limited.  I love this town, and I’ll be sad to say goodbye.  Until then, I’ll enjoy it as much as I can.  And stay indoors with the a/c.


What isolation is teaching me about my health

August 20, 2020

While a lot of folks are venturing out into the world again, I am mostly staying in my apartment. During the hot days of summer I generally stay indoors anyway, since the humidity and heat trigger my symptoms. This year, with no other indoor places as an alternative, I am at home. And I am surprised at the impact it is having (and not having) on my health.

It became clear over the years that too much activity would lead to more fatigue, more pain, more gastrointestinal symptoms, and more random symptoms, but I could never be sure what constituted “too much” activity. I knew that resting helped, but how much rest was needed? More than that, I never knew if an increase in symptoms was from “too much” activity or from something else.

Then there was the food angle. If I had diarrhea, for example, was it from something I ate, “too much” activity, the weather, or something else? Even if I ate my own food, when I was out of the house I would wonder if I could have gotten gluten cross-contamination somehow. What if I ate food made by someone else? Would that be safe?

With so many variables eliminated, it is fascinating to see what remains. Aside from a couple of carefully chosen convenience foods (mmm, gluten-free frozen pizza!) I have eaten an item made by someone else only once in the past 5+ months: a birthday cake. My mother made it, and I trust her to make sure it is gluten-free, corn-free, and free of any cross-contamination. I have not eaten at a restaurant or even gotten takeout. My avoidance of takeout is partly from Covid concerns, partly from convenience (there aren’t many places near me with food I can eat anyway), and largely because I am enjoying the safety of eating my own food. Yes, I’m tired of constantly cooking and constantly washing dishes, but I love the confidence that my food is safe.

Of course, it’s not all easy peasy. Twice I was about to eat frozen vegetables when I realized they weren’t my usual brand (the downside of having someone else do my grocery shopping.) I checked the bag and each time, there was a risk of cross-contamination. Yikes! I am so thankful that I caught them both in time.

For the most part I have felt pretty good. That tells me a lot about the impact of activity level on my health. I was especially aware of this through mid-June. I had almost no pain aside from the predictable pain that came from not attending physical therapy. Then the weather shifted. I am so incredibly thankful to live in an apartment with central air conditioning. None of my previous apartments had it, and when I moved several years ago, I made it a priority. I am especially grateful for that now that I am in isolation. In previous summers, when my window units weren’t sufficient, I would sit at the library, exercise by walking around a craft store, or spend several days at my parents’ house, enjoying their company and their air conditioning. With none of those as acceptable options now, I am stuck at home. Still, even with the door closed and the air conditioning on, the weather seems to be impacting me. And when I do venture out to check the mail or take a short walk, I feel it even more.

I am glad that, as I wrote last month, I am less heat intolerant now than I used to be. Still, “less than before” still doesn’t mean I can handle it well. For two weeks I barely left my apartment. It wasn’t good for me physically or emotionally, but the alternative seemed worse. Even while staying indoors I had increased fatigue (perhaps from the lack of outdoor movement? but probably not), increased joint pain (ditto? but probably not), increased inflammation, and increased gastrointestinal symptoms. The inflammation is bad. My knees are so swollen that my knee braces barely fit. My physical therapist (the one person I get within 10 feet of) put her hands on my neck and shoulders and instantly said that she felt the inflammation. This is not good.

Two weeks ago I received test results: I am hypothyroid. Again. I have had to adjust my medication many times over the years, sometimes in the summer and sometimes in the winter. However, this time I can rule out a lot of factors that could be impacting my thyroid. After all, not a lot else is going on!

Yesterday I felt lousy. I had diarrhea followed by fatigue. It was easy to cancel my “plans” for the rest of the day, which consisted of writing a blog post here, taking a walk, doing my physical therapy, and doing some organizing around the apartment. Instead, I watched tv and crocheted. It was relaxing and it helped. Normally I might have thought I had done “too much” that day, or wondered about something that I ate outside of my home. Instead, I could narrow the culprit down to two things: the weather and what I ate. I had eaten ice cream after lunch, which is usually fine, but I’ve had a lot of dairy lately and maybe it was just too much. And right before lunch I had felt hot on my way home from my walk. The humidity was bothering me, which is never a good sign. And then I ate immediately after I got home because I had a therapy appointment online that I needed to be ready for. Oops. I’m pretty sure those two things combined were the problem. It was good to at least have a reasonable guess as to the cause of the problem, and then to be able to easily rest afterwards.

The other day I met up with a friend. We took a walk, sat and chatted, walked some more, and went home. We kept our distance and wore masks. We were safe. But part way through the visit I felt ill, and I know 100% it was from the heat. On a cooler day I had met up with my parents. We didn’t walk as much and just sat. I felt fine afterwards, just tired. I’m not used to even small amounts of socializing any more. The difference was definitely the weather.

So what’s my point? My point is that I am getting a better understanding of how the many different variables of a “typical” day impact my life. I can figure out what makes me feel ill, and what doesn’t have an impact or even makes me feel better. The goal for me will be to use this information when, one day, I am able to go out and do things again. I will need to find a balance. Avoiding symptoms 100% is obviously not possible; if I can’t do it now, then I’ll probably never be able to do it. I also don’t want to cut off the rest of my life in order to sit at home and hide from my symptoms. Still, my hope is that I will get a better sense of where the balance lays, so that I will be able to focus more on the things that are worth the increased pain and other symptoms, and avoid the ones that aren’t.

I have also learned how big of a difference telehealth makes for me, and will advocate for its continuation. Several of my doctors have already said that they plan to continue with it, so I will need my insurance to cover it. Not having to drive for an hour to sit in a waiting room before finally seeing my doctor for a 15 minute conversation that involves no physical examination is waste of everyone’s resources, and I will be glad to see that end. I want to reserve my appointment-related energy for the appointments where attending in person actually matters.

With isolation far from over, I know that I will learn many more lessons. These are an excellent start, though, and I am glad that there will be at least one positive thing to come out of all of this for me.

What about you? How has your health been during isolation? Are you learning anything new or clarifying previous assumptions? Please share!


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