The difference between feeling sick-sick and normal-sick

When you feel sick every day, it’s hard to explain to someone that some days can be a different kind of sick. That’s how I feel today, that different kind of sick.

I don’t have a cold. I don’t have the flu. This is more like the feeling I used to get a day or two before I’d get a cold, actually. So technically it’s nothing. I’m not sneezing or coughing and I don’t have a fever. But I don’t feel right.

I’m tired, but not in the way I’m usually tired. My stomach isn’t right, but not in the way my stomach usually isn’t right. I slept late, but not in the way I usually sleep late. I slept later and more restlessly. Something feels wrong, but not the way something usually feels wrong. How can I explain that to people?

My plan for today was to do laundry. Then, if I had energy, I’d go grocery shopping. Then I was going to cook for dinner. I had a feeling that would be too much for one day, but I was going to try. At the very least, I’d do laundry. Instead, I did none of those things. I didn’t even read my book, send emails to doctors and lawyers, or call the cable company like I wanted to. No, today I felt lousy, so I did none of those things. Instead, I emailed a friend and watched a movie. That’s it. And it feels like a lot. I’m tired and run down and wanting to go to bed. I wish someone else could make me dinner, even though I’m not very hungry. Usually I’m tired and run down, but I don’t wan to go to bed. Usually I wish someone else would make me dinner because I’m tired, but I’m also hungry. You see the difference? It’s small, but it’s there. And I know that the way I feel is definitely different.

So yes, I feel sick every day. But today isn’t my chronic illness type of sick. Today is sort of a normal kind of sick. And I won’t say that it’s better or worse. Just different.

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11 Responses to The difference between feeling sick-sick and normal-sick

  1. Megan S says:

    I hope you’re back to the ‘normal’ sick soon! I can definitely identify with the idea of two types of sick.

  2. canadese says:

    I had the flu a few weeks ago, and it was actually kind of a nice change to be “normal” sick. It’s funny how chronic illness changes your perspective on feeling well/unwell!

    • chronicrants says:

      So true. It can be a relief for me, too, when I get a bug. It’s something people understand and sympathize with, and it doesn’t require any explanation. It’s easier, in a way.

  3. Jess says:

    I can definitely relate to this. It is so hard to explain to others. I hope you feel your normal-sick too. Or better yet, normal normal (if only..).

    • chronicrants says:

      Thanks Jess. Ah, to feel normal-normal, even for a day. I know that won’t happen, but sometimes I dream about it anyway….

      • Jess says:

        I do too…maybe one day…in the same way like maybe one day we will win the lottery.

      • chronicrants says:

        Hey, what are you talking about? I TOTALLY expect to win the lottery! ;)

      • Jess says:

        I do too, but I should probably start with actually buying tickets…

      • chronicrants says:

        Not the worst idea. I buy maybe 6 a year. It’s enough to have the fun of dreaming about winning, but not enough to actually feel bad about spending too much money on it. I started buying the tickets a few years ago when I finally had to admit to myself that while the chances of winning are incredibly low, they’re still better than if I don’t play at all. Just barely, but still.

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